Lucians Wrestling Recap

A trip out of town means this column is late and won’t be as detailed as usual. But let’s make do, shall we?

Remember last week? When Cena’s team was falling apart and Nexus was united? They certainly remind us enough. There’s even sad violin music in the opening video. Expect more of the same tonight. Plus we get to see a new movie trailer for Cena’s latest. Great, more ads.

Edge starts the show. His team is falling apart. So Edge is taking matters in his own hands. He wants Wade Barrett one-on-one with nobody else involved. R-Truth isn’t listening to Edge so he comes out to chew the fat. E-GM is fine with Edge facing Barrett and the match is after the commercial. The match lasts a little while and Edge looks to be winning when Barrett bails from the ring and summons the rest of Nexus. Edge gets while the getting is good to avoid a beat down.

Edge then seeks out Cena to ask him why he did what Edge asked and left him alone, but Edge is petulant and quits the team. That brings in Jericho to challenge Cena with the loser also leaving the team. Morrison kills time with The Great Khali so a few Nexus guys can show up later and try to get Khali to switch sides.

There’s a six-diva tag match that isn’t that very interesting but Melina Perez returns from injury afterward to attack Alicia Fox. Sheamus has a match against Goldust. They actually remember ECW for a change and talk about how a year ago and brand new rookie Sheamus was feuding with Goldust in ECW. And if you think Goldust is even going to put up a fight you must think this is an actual sport.

Cena and Jericho put on a good match at the mid-point of the show but, when Cena first applies the STF, Jericho taps out before the move is even fully locked in. It’s odd and I still don’t know why he did it. Cena tries a heartfelt speech to convince Jericho to stay, and the crowd is happy to chant for him when it looks like he will, but no, Jericho walks off stage.

Edge is waiting for Jericho in the locker room so a mutual lovefest. These two actually agree to let their bygones be bygones and it could be a new alliance. E-GM decides, next week, Jericho and Edge can team up to face John Cena and… Bret Hart? With Nexus as lumberjacks? Do they get chimp sidekicks?

The main event tonight is Randy Orton versus The Miz, but it’s been an afterthought until Orton gets interviewed. But, even then, he spends most of his time concentrating on Sheamus. Orton has a lot of charisma, but his speaking skills don’t match up, or at least not under his current gimmick. So maybe he should stay silent more often.

Oh joy, a trailer. WTF is Danny Glover doing in a film with John Cena?

It’s weird to see The Great Khali getting a push but he actually beats Ted Dibiase after Nexus causes a distraction. The best part of the show is a vignette with Will Farrell, Mark Wahlberg and the Bella Twins. Find it on Youtube.

As for the main event, The Miz’s style is plodding and methodical. He often picks a body part and takes it apart. That’s fine. That’s typical WWE heel style, but put him up against someone who also isn’t working a flashy style, like tonight’s match against Orton or his recent PPV match with R-Truth, and the match ends up dull. Sheamus watches most of the match. Orton eventually gets the win but we’re denied a final confrontation between him and Sheamus.

NXT was nothing special, no elimination.

Mysterio opens Smackdown and we’re expected to believe the water he was thrown into last week was fifteen feet deep and he almost drowned. Rey actually mentions God in this promo. Rey claims he knows who really attacked the Undertaker, but the interruption of the opener belongs to Drew McIntyre. It’s so cheap to pick on Rey because he wears a mask. It’s been done to death and I’m tired of it. I think I recognize some of these lines as recycled from an old Paul Burchill/Hurricane feud. This is actually a really good promo by both guys. We’re in Laredo, Texas so Rey is playing hard to impress La Rasa and these two end up agreeing to a match. Will it be just as good?

Is it really that big a deal that “Dashing” Cody Rhodes doesn’t wear knee pads? He picks up a win over Matt Hardy. Dolph Ziggler gets his Intercontinental Title shot and, with his cougar’s help, becomes the new champion. Kingston again snaps and beats down Ziggler after the match. Expect the rematch at Summerslam. Ziggler looks better every time I see him wrestle.

Why is CM Punk back in the sling? He’s really proud of his gang for taking down The Big Show last week. They face Show in a 3-on-1 match at Summerslam. Punk claims to have broken a bone and torn at least two tendons in Show’s right hand. Will he even make it to Summerslam?

They’re also claiming Drew McIntyre hurt Christian’s arm so bad “it will never be the same” as the main event pits Mysterio versus McIntyre. It’s a perfectly fine main event match with McIntyre working a lot of submissions. That makes it time to plug Mysterio and Kane who will face in a casket match at Summerslam. Mysterio is afraid of caskets now. Rey is the first person to figure out that Kane could have taken down The Undertaker and accuses him right back. Once again we risk building to another Taker/Kane feud. We shall see.

TNA was the victim of split focus this week as they were hyping the Hardcore Justice PPV while also trying to push their own brand for building to a big night the week after the PPV. By the time you are reading this the PPV is over so I recommend you check a wrestling news site like Inside Pulse to find out what happened. Hopefully we can now let ECW rest in peace with the little dignity it still has. If you want to try to capture ECW then you may as well hire Paul Heyman.

With Summerslam looming WWE is not doing a good enough job to promote itself while TNA is looking backwards, not forwards. This is a big week for both companies, WWE has to sell one of the top 3 Pay Per Views of the year while TNA has to put on a TV show that makes up for giving up a PPV to ECW nostalgia. Hopefully my column will be more timely next… later this week.