Lucians Wrestling Recap

Not that any of you probably care but there was no TNA show last week. I have no idea why.

On to this week’s WWE RAW. We have a potentially very good main event scheduled, with Randy Orton taking on John Cena. We’ll see if they actually give it to us. It’s RAW Roulette, so this could be fun. The first spin is for Orton and Cena and it comes up as a tables match.

There’s a cage set up so I’m betting on a Cage Match tonight. Oh yeah, this is the “season premiere”. We’re in Cincinnati and an NFL guy is the host, Chad Ochocino. Guy seems to know his way around a microphone, but I’m still glad when The Miz interrupts. Miz insults Cincinnati sports teams which is cheap but effective. E-Gm interrupts to spin the wheel for The Miz. The wheel says Submission Match. The E-GM let’s Chad decide the opponent and, no shock, he picks Daniel Bryan. They don’t show Bryan’s entrance or the start of the match, as sign it’s a packed show tonight. Alex Reilly is still hanging around. It’s not much of a match at all until Miz fakes a hernia and subs Reilly in his place. Bryan makes short work of Reilly, but a miraculously recovered Miz jumps him. Miz hits for a while and postures but Bryan recovers and forces Miz to tap out.

Edge draws Body Slam challenge. He easily beats Evan Bourne, only to have the GM bring out another opponent, Mark Henry. And Henry gets a win over Edge, not something you see every day. R-Truth and Eve face Maryse and Ted Dibiase in a “Song and Dance” Match. Nobody seems to know what that is. Okay, it’s not a match. They pick one singer and one dancer from each team. R-Truth has a new rap! (I don’t really like it though). Dibiase considers forfeiting this whole stupid endeavor, but instead he busts out a lousy version of “My Way” while Maryse does interpretive dance. This is a waste of everyone’s time. At least it ends with a brawl.

William Regal, who never likes RAW Roulette, draws a Trading Places match, which means he has to dress as his opponent…. Who is Goldust. If my memory serves at the first RAW Roulette Regal faced Goldust in a match where they had to dress as Las Vegas Showgirls. Some things never change. Sheamus shows up to learn if John Morrison beats him in their match then Morrison takes Jericho’s spot in the six-pack challenge. The wheel determines that it’s a Falls Count Anywhere Match.

It’s a good example of a Falls Count Anywhere with very little of the action taking place in the ring. Morrison also shines in action when he can play off objects. He actually makes you believe he can win, but Jericho attacks Morrison with the steel chair and Sheamus picks the bones for the win. Jericho stages a sit-in in the ring to get his spot in the six-pack challenge back. He threatens to quit. No response from the GM. Jericho threatens to track him down and expose him. Some back and forth before the E-GM changes the match to elimination and puts Jericho back in the match… BUT Jericho needs to win a match first, right now, against the tag team champions, in a steel cage. Did he spin the wheel for that? Jericho is in a suit so has to wrestle in street clothes. Both the Harts try to escape early, DHS does, which leaves Jericho to face Tyson Kidd and I guess he can eliminate Kidd and still win. So the bulk of the match is one-on-one. The finish is a nice Huricaranna reversal into the Walls of Jericho to get Y2J back in the elimination match.

William Regal looks good as Goldust. Goldust gets his annual win over Regal by using Regal’s old trick, brass knuckles.

The main event is going well, genuinely entertaining, until Nexus arrives to interfere. Cena eats Barrett’s Wasteland. Slater and Gabriel go through tables then Orton does the same to Barrett. With Nexus taken out of the equation we need another run in, this time Edge and Jericho, but Orton is unstoppable lately as he puts Edge and Jericho through a table at once. Sheamus can’t be left out so he runs in too, but Cena recovers enough to catch him with an Attitude Ajustment. We’re back to the original 2. Cena sets up an Attitude Adjustment through the table, but Orton counters it into a RKO and wins the match. Orton again looks like top dog in WWE as he goes over even Cena.

I was hoping for more. We didn’t need the song and dance act and the costume switch match. One more real match would have been a big help. The cluster**** at the end pushed the six-pack challenge, but why is Orton a god lately? And why was there all the fuss of taking Jericho out of the NoC match only to put him right back in?

As for NXT they are still keeping up the pretense that the first elimination is in three weeks, which is weird because that’s the last episode on the SyFy channel. There’s no word on the show continuing anywhere else. So aren’t they just going to end the whole thing and pick a winner there? Wouldn’t it be more dramatic to admit that? About the only thing I will miss from this show is the Josh Matthews and Michael Cole announce pairing. I doubt Jerry Lawler is retiring any time soon.

Dolph Ziggler makes an appearance to win a tag match with Katlyn. There’s a comedy challenge. The jokes are old and the catfights are weak. Michael Cole flips out and runs down the entire show. It’s rare for Michael Cole to voice my thoughts. Jamie has a good night and she’s not entirely objectionable.

The obstacle course is the same basic design as the men’s course just with smaller hurdles and a smaller cart to push up the ramp at the end. Vickie Guererro decides to show the rookies how it’s done which should be funny but she does surprisingly well, which kills the joke. She finally trips near the end then throws a tantrum. How is this meant to be entertaining? Katlyn goes first and wins, since everyone else can make a convenient mistake or two to ensure she does. Cole flips out again and walks off the show.

I just learned I’m going to be busy Sunday night. The only way I could see Night of Champions is to stay up and watch it at 11:30 p.m. Other than seeing Daniel Bryan versus The Miz I have no compelling reason to do so. There probably won’t be a recap of the show as a result.