Hell in a Cell. It has provided some of the greatest moments in WWE history… But this is the PG era. Can a PG Hell in the Cell live up to the bloodier brawls of the past? The opening promo wants us to believe Hell in a Cell is a demonic, possibly even sentient construct. It’s a brand new cell and it’s certainly big. But it seems cleaner, less rough around the edges. Like it wouldn’t hurt that much to hit it. I guess they wanted to reduce the odds of unintentional cuts since it would be weird to stop a Hell in a Cell match to patch a cut.

Our opening contest is a Triple Threat Submission match for the United States Championship. John Morrison comes out first and there’s no sign of a heel turn as he gives his sunglasses to a small child in the audience. The champion comes out next, which is still wrong. Miz is last so he can get on the mic before the match. Well, no point in having Miz on a PPV and not letting him talk. Miz claims to have been the mentor of both of them. Without him they’d be nobodies. Without them he’s still be a star because he has the “It factor.” The last guy who claimed that was David Otunga. That’s not good company to be in.

The match features very little in the way of alliances. If you like submission wrestling this is a great match. These guys bust out some old school moves. The problem is Striker calls everything as a “variation” of a move. I think Matt Striker even refers to one as the Haas of Pain. Didn’t think Charlie Haas would get a shout out from WWE any time soon. It’s also nice that everyone involved remembers if there are no disqualifications there are no rope breaks. Bryan busts out Cattle Mutilation which leads more annoying banter from the three-man announce team of Cole, Striker and the King. I keep trying to hear what they call John Morrison’s training technique. Wikipedia is no help but it sounds like “harcore.”

They fight all over the arena and use the arena environment to their advantage. At one point Miz locks a hold on Morrison while Morrison is threaded through the metal railing on the steps. The action eventually winds up near the entrance ramp. Miz uses a rolling stagehand’s equipment box, the same type they always use at the end of NXT obstacle courses. Bryan tries for the LaBell lock at every opportunity. Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale on Morrison to the concrete floor. A DDT on the floor once took people out for months. Now people shrug off finishers on the outside. Who says people were tougher in the old days?

Morrison Spidermans the lighting grid onto the decorative cell wall beside the entrance ramp. The Splash he hits on both men from about twelve feet in the air prompts a “That was awesome” chant from the crowd. Morrison traps Miz in a Texas Cloverleaf a Dean Malenko shout out! But Miz’s apprentice, Alex Reilly, runs out and takes Morrison out.  That opens up Bryan to lock the LaBell lock on The Miz on the entrance ramp. Miz holds out longer than you’d expect, but taps out to give Bryan the title. Alex Cole finally admits that Daniel Bryan is for real, but he still thinks he’s a nerd. Absolutely awesome opener. Fired up the crowd and gave them something to pop for.

I don’t want to see Legendary. Screw off.

Next up we go into a Hell in a Cell already as Sheamus and Randy Orton lock up for the WWE Championship. As I feared, the cell really isn’t menacing anymore. It looks pliant and clean-edged. I’ve seen baseball diamonds I’d be more scared to be thrown into. To make up for it the pair has to use both ring steps as weapons. That ramps up the macho factor a little. But mostly the match is a long running brawl, which I consider the most boring style of wrestling. Orton takes damage to the ribs early on and it becomes the story of the match. Sheamus exposes a turnbuckle but, as is often the case, it comes back to bite him in the arm. At the end Sheamus brings the ring steps into the ring and it backfires again. Orton Scoop Slams him onto the steps. That’s only good enough for a two. Sheamus finally succeeds in using a weapon as he whacks Orton a few times with a steel chair.

Orton finally hits his RKO, but Sheamus manages to roll out of the ring. Sheamus dodges the punt and hits another Brogue Kick but, again, outside the ring. He gets two but, in the end, Mr. Orton delivers his initials onto the steel steps. 1… 2… 3! Orton retains. This was an okay match, especially for second on the card, but it really didn’t need to be a Hell in a Cell match. The ring steps and exposed turnbuckle mattered more than the cell. This could have been an No-Disqualification match and worked just as well. Do we need to have two Hell in a Cell matches on one show? Even if the show is called Hell in a Cell? Sheamus has become a credible main eventer and Orton is mad over. Pity they drew the short straw of importance on this Pay Per View. Orton delivers a better spot after the match when he climbs the outside of the cell, about twenty feet up, and parades the title on top of the steel structure.

Keep your useless NXT Divas off my PPV. NXT scares them off. Is this supposed to be a face turn. We’re reminded that if the other members of Nexus get involved in any way Cena wins.

Did you think Alberto Del Rio wouldn’t be on the PPV? Here comes the Mexican JBL right now. Jerry Lawler used to at least be a dirty old man. Now he just makes weak puns. Del Rio runs down Mysterio and Christian so it’s odd that it’s Edge who interrupts. Rumors are going around that Edge is not only turning face again but going to Smackdown to bolster it after the SyFy move. Edge isn’t the best face, but Smackdown does need a new on at the main event level. Edge continues his campaign against stupidity. A Chihuahua in a mask? Stupid. A scarf the size of a blanket? Stupid. Don’t tell Tom Baker that! The little wink? Stupid. Edge is still acting like a heel. Than again so is Randy Orton and they cheer him. Edge does seem to be getting some face heat here.

Just when we are about to get a fight Jack Swagger shows up. He’s mad at Edge over Spearing his Eagle mascot. Swagger has to point out it’s a real person inside that suit and demand Edge pay his medical bills. Edge gets brave but Del Rio ambushes him and Swagger attack. The E-GM ping goes off and the anonymous General Manager’s new computer tells Michael Cole that Edge will apologize tomorrow on RAW. And face Jack Swagger right now. Impromptu match!

Edge starts hurt so he’s at the disadvantage throughout. Again, face style booking. It’s odd but after two gimmick matches in a row it’s already odd to see things like rope breaks and count outs again. Swagger eventually gets the Ankle Lock cinched in. I hate when a wrestler grabs the rope, then gets pulled off, and the ref doesn’t still force a break. Edge rolls through the ankle lock anyway and hits a Spear for a win! So far tonight all the matches have been given plenty of time and none of them have been bad.

Click here to read Part 2 of the Hell in a Cell 2010 recap!

Article by PJ Flip with contributions from The Pit.

The CW Network has updated their Smallville photo gallery with pictures of Laura Vandervoort as Supergirl and James Marsters as Brainiac. Also intriguing is a picture with witht he caption “Lex Luthor “. Another clone? Or could it be the real Luthor?  Start here for the picture’s with Marsters, and over here for the pics of Vandervoort’s return.

David E. Kelly (Boston Legal, The Practice, Ally McBeal) is bringing DC Comic’s hero Wonder Woman back to TV. The superhero was famously portrayed by Lynda Carter in the 70′s series The New Adventures of Wonder Woman.  It would have been cool to have this on the air at the same time as Smallville with possible crossovers, but who knows what kind of world Kelly is planing to craft. Ultra-realistic? Will it have more of a legal feel like his other shows? Over in the comics, Wonder Woman’s costume and history was recently redesigned/updated to look more modern and realistic.

Bryan Fuller (Pushing Daisies) is remaking The Munsters. This is cool on many levels.

Summer Glau to guest star as Greta on Chuck, and tonight, Stacy Keibler will guest star as Greta on.  This gag with the different agents taking over the Greta role in the buy more is fun, but I couldn’t help but think that they could have used Glau in a bigger role. Keibler is guest starring and will throw fists with another ex-professional wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin, who makes a return appearance.

FOX’s Lone Star is the first show to get canceled, after only two episodes, while ABC’s My Generation is the second show to get canceled, also after only two episodes. What will be next? Likely Undercovers, which is at the bottom of the NBC ratings pool.

Snooki is starring in her own dating show and writing a book? It’s not April Fools Day yet, is it?

Eliza Dushku will guest star on The Big Bang Theory. She will play an FBI agent named Angela.

Smackdown arrives on SyFy with a brand new opening theme and sequence. It’s actually a big improvement. The big show kicks off with Dolph Ziggler defending his title against MVP. Not exactly big name superstars to open with. Let’s hope the match is solid… It’s not. It is all a set-up for Nexus, minus Wade Barrett, to attack. Ziggler takes the initial attack leaving MVP alone in the ring. They do the surround and attack move, then beat MVP down for Gabriel’s 450 Splash. Big Show finally shows up. I know he was slow, but he was no help to MVP. And even a giant falls to a four on one assault. You know what that means, it’s time for John Cena. Maybe if people stopped coming out one at a time they’d have a better chance. Nexus is busy beating down Cena when Big Show returns with a steel chair and drives them off. Barrett is on TitanTron. He’s just here to recap the stipulations of the match on Sunday. Apparently, he’s a friend of the network head so he gets to pick matches. Nexus vs. Big Show five-on-one and John Cena versus Kane. And here I thought they might be putting the early focus on actual wrestling.

Oh great, Michael Cole is here. We have an Undertaker/CM Punk match tonight. We get an 8-Diva tag match. There’s a few decent moves, but Hornswoggle shows up to mess with LayCool so it’s hard to take the match seriously. WWE is actually plugging Mick Foley’s new book despite Foley being with TNA now. We’re in Oklahoma so Jack Swagger gets to celebrate homecoming. He’s got a guy in an Eagle mascot costume with him. I wonder if that is an enemy in disguise. He’s upset he didn’t get a parade. So, he’s moved to Texas. Instead of the eagle betraying Swagger, Edge shows up. Edge is on a campaign against stupidity in wrestling. He’s Don Quixote now? Edge decks the eagle and Swagger runs off. That leaves Edge to Spear the eagle. Is he supposed to be a face here or what?

Sick of Nexus? Tough. They are lumberjacks for Cena’s match later tonight. Their match with Show is quick. Since four of them beat down Show earlier why would he have a chance against five? As is, once they get Show off his feet, each Nexus member locks a hold on one limb, except Barrett who puts a choke hold on Show’s neck. Show passes out quickly and gets two post match 450 splashes.

Undertaker is looking more Old School in costuming as Paul Bearer and the urn join him for his match with CM Punk. It’s the best match of the night so far, but that’s not saying much. Undertaker wins, of course, with a Tombstone Piledriver. Next up is Alberto Del Rio, still as awesome as ever. He promises Rey Mysterio and his personal ring announcer brings out a Chihuahua in a mask. Cute dog. It even has a brace on one paw. Then it’s time for the real Rey to return. Rey tries to 619 Del Rio, but the ring announcer gets involved again. That let’s Del Rio escape. Rey takes his frustrations out on poor Ricardo. That’s twice now that non-wrestlers have taken beatings. Remember, don’t try this at home.

Randy Orton is here tonight too. He faces his old pupil, Cody Rhodes. The match has barely started when Orton lands his RKO finisher, only to be attacked by Sheamus. The beating lasts longer than the match and we have yet to have one good match all night. Even the main event isn’t given much time and it also ends inconclusively when the lumberjacks attack and Undertaker appears to attack Kane. The final focus is on the brawl through the stands between the two “brothers”. Taker comes out on top, with the urn motivating him. Will that give him the title Sunday? I think so.

TNA again has a problem with split focus. Sure, they’re pushing Bound for Glory, but now they have a big live show three days before it and they’re trying to push that just as hard. So, at that show, we’re going to see Ric Flair versus Mick Foley in a Last Man Standing Match. It’s WCW all over again. Giving away money matches for free. Their promo is awesome, but it’s nothing new. These two already had their long running feud out in WWE. Just like ECW had a revival already in WWE. TNA always striving for new things to copy.

Tonight Kurt Angle faces Abyss in a Steel Cage. The Pope, Kevin Nash and Sting continue to complain about WCW. So, at Bound for Glory, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe and Hulk Hogan will face Sting, Nash and Dinero. Hulk Hogan, who is recovering from back surgery, which they have admitted on camera, is supposed to step in the ring in ten days?! Do they really think anyone is going to pay to see that? Tommy Dreamer actually scores a pinfall as he and Rhino beat Beer Money. Jay Lethal and Amazing Red traded the X Division title back and forth at some house shows; but other than mentioning it and a few still shots neither one is actually on the show. Has the X title been reduced to Xplosion fodder?

Generation Me beat Ink Inc, but the Tag champs get Chris Sabin’s stolen title back from the #1 contenders. We tease more troubles in the top ranks, as an off-screen, unheard phone call from Hogan shows he’s behind Angle while Eric Bischoff likes Ken Anderson. Where the heck is Jeff Hardy tonight? Is he selling the Abyss beating? Kurt bleeds a bucket in the main event and carries Abyss to a decent match for a change. We carry on to Reaction yet again as Kurt teases a Moonsault off the top of the cage, but doesn’t deliver. That’s probably for the best. Abyss takes Angle out but the ref goes down in the process. Ken Anderson comes to Kurt’s rescue. Abyss takes him down too, rips the cage door clean off and goes for Janice. Kurt recovers and manages to take it (her?) from him. The ref never recovers, we don’t get a winner and we just go off the air with Kurt standing there holding Janice. Lousy ending people. You have to watch a lot of Reaction to see that Kurt refuses to shake Ken Anderson’s hand after the show.

Also on for next week is a Battle Royal including every man on the Bound For Glory card. That’s twenty-five men. And the prize? $100,000. Nice to see inflation hasn’t driven wrestling prizes up too high in the face of the global economic downturn. By now, next week’s show looks almost as interesting as the PPV and I don’t have to pay for it. So what inspires me to spend money on the second show when I’ve already had my weekly fill with the free one?

So what’s the verdict for the week? Nothing terrible happened, but I feel like nothing great happened either. TNA had the better wrestling while WWE did a better job building to their PPV. So a mixed bag of a week. Will Hell in a Cell be worth paying for? I haven’t decided yet.