Lucians Wrestling Recap

Back from Thanksgiving with the family and ready to catch up on wrestling. My cable gave way, but I still have the show saved from the night before so I should see all of it. They’re in Seattle. Cena comes out alone. In his own colors with an armband his sleeve almost covers. Crowd is practically at war with itself over him now. Cena recaps the story so far. He has to do what Wade Barrett says or be fired from the WWE. How can the RAW GM ban Cena from going to Smackdown or (guffaw) NXT?

Oddly, it’s The Miz (with sycophant) who interrupts Cena. Oh yeah, Miz is RAW team captain for Bragging Rights. Miz reminds us all Big Show betrayed RAW last time around. Miz actually makes nice and offers Cena a spot on the team. Cena wants to be captain instead. That draws Barrett. Cena’s dance card is full. He’s in Barrett’s corner for the Orton match and that’s all. Reilly pipes up that Miz could cash in his Money in Bank contract and walk away champion.

Cue an e-mail from the GM. Cena may answer to Barrett, but they all answer to him or her. So Cena has a chance to be team captain, if he can beat The Miz tonight. The other six team members will be determined by matches tonight. Miz gets in Barrett’s face and gets double-teamed. Cena sits out until the battered Barrett manages to motion to Cena. Cena cleans house and young Reilly learns how to take an Attitude Adjustment.

First qualifier is Ted Dibiase versus R-Truth. Eve Torres has been reduced to dancing, badly, as R-Truth raps, badly. It’s not much of a match before Goldust distracts Dibiase to ultimately cost him the match. One commercial break later and we’re right into qualifier #2: John Morrison versus Tyson Kidd versus David Hart Smith. Except DHS is nowhere to be found. This is a much better match. Morrison hits a move to finish like I’ve never seen before. Huge wow factor. I haven’t seen anything that nice since the Canadian Destroyer. Just when I had written Morrison off he’s on fire all over again. Qualifier #3 is Santino Marella versus Zack Ryder. It’s like resistible force versus easily moveable object. Woah! The Cobra just won a match! I’ll give you even odds Marella gets replaced before the match. More crappy romance subplot with Tamita.

The other Nexus guys want to know why Michael McGuillicuddy and Husky Harris helped Barrett. They get no answers as Barrett returns to shut everyone up. Barrett thinks Otunga might be getting jealous, but Otunga manages to finagle out of facing Randy Orton tonight by volunteering Justin Gabriel. Slater and Otunga are in Gabriel’s corner as he faces Orton, but they are ejected in short order. Gabriel continues to prove he is the best wrestler in Nexus. Gabriel goes for the 450 but Orton almost rolls out of the way and he can recover first to hit the RKO for the pin.

Okay, is Sheamus going to embarrass Daniel Bryan again? The 4th spot on Team RAW is up for grabs. Seattle is Bryan’s hometown. By Vince’s twisted logic that means he’s more likely to lose. He’s on fire out of the gate and the crowd is totally behind him. This turns into a good competitive match, but Sheamus eventually hits a Brogue Kick and beats the US champion. Spot #5 is between Evan Bourne and, newly acquired from Smackdown, CM Punk (which most of us already knew). Nobody is surprised CM Punk wins, nor that he beats down Bourne afterwards. But hey, it’s a Ring of Honor reunion! Some people have complained that guys change brand loyalties on a dime, but in the sense that pro wrestling is influenced by legit sports it makes sense. Let’s say you are on the Toronto Blue Jays. You play the Yankees on Friday. On Saturday you get traded to the Yankees. Then on Sunday you are playing against the Blue Jays. If a bench clearing brawl breaks out you better well be out there swinging with the guys at the front, because you need to prove your loyalty instantly or your life with that team is going to be hell.

Okay, now the Big Show’s movie I actually want to see. R-Truth wants Cena to quit the WWE rather than remain in Nexus. Ummm… up yours? Natalya has a rematch at Bragging Rights. LayCool are running out of ways to insult people. Lame segment best ignored. To quote Lawler “Get the hook.”

Main event time. No Disqualifications which means Reilly and or Barrett could be the deciding factor. Put your money on Barrett. As limited as these two are they can keep a crowd interested in a match and that’s a big part of succeeding in this business. Reilly tries to interfere, but Cena makes short work of him. Then, proving I shouldn’t be a betting man, it’s Husky Harris and IRS Jr that cost Cena the match. The season 2 rookies beat on Cena, who is fighting them off, until Wade Barrett stops him. E-GM decides they need a real match, next week, against John Cena and Randy Orton. Barrett pipes up that if Husky and Michael can win, that they get into Nexus. Barrett taunts Cena to end the night. Cena plays up the “I want to kick the crap out of this guy” expressions like a pro. Oh wait, he is a pro actor now. Wow, this show is going way over time.

Morrison’s new finisher is the Moonlight Drive.

NXT features Name That Tune. It’s inoffensive and AJ runs away with it. She has 1900 points; second place is 100. Naomi faces Alicia Fox. I’d rather see Naomi win and she doesn’t so I don’t care at all. Competition number two is the Power of the Punch, but first we’re “treated” to some mic time from the divas. For those who missed it before the Power of the Punch is just a mechanical punching bag power meter. Naomi wins and, suspiciously, it often seems whoever goes first wins. Almost like everyone else were told to tank so the winner could be rigged. The main event is AJ versus Aksana. AJ wins. And the payoff of the Aksana immigration storyline is Goldust proposes to her. Wrestling weddings, do they ever go well?

Be back later this week with some Smackdown and a little TNA for you. See you then!