Ah Smackdown, a crap shoot of a show each and every week. Kane is out to open so we’re not starting well. Kane loves his daddy even more than his title. Kane has woken up to the fact kidnapping is illegal. But he just wants Paul Bearer back and all will be forgiven. Kane’s not a freak, or a monster, he has feelings. He wants daddy home for the holidays. Yeah, this is just…not right. Here come Edge with the empty wheelchair. Edge makes Kane ask nicely but Edge still doesn’t buy Kane’s sincerity so he wheels off like a homeless person with a shopping cart.
King of the Ring qualifiers should dominate this show. The first pits Kofi Kingston versus Jack Swagger. Another crap shoot. It’s a good match, lots of back and forth. There’s a great series of counters late in the match but Kofi ends it all with Trouble in Paradise. How’s being a former world champion working out for you Swags? So Kofi will be one of eight in the hunt on Monday night. I don’t have high hopes for his chances.
This Edge storyline graduates to urine and feces jokes as Paul has been tied to a chair for two weeks. Edge teases Kane with his location then takes off. Alberto Del Rio has his work cut out for him as he faces the Big Show. But Del Rio is the kind of guy who should be winning KotR, Show is not. Show is dominant here. Del Rio survives, but his offence doesn’t cut it against the giant. But Show leaves the ring and Del Rio’s ring announcer is able to occupy him long enough for the big man to get counted out. By the numbers booking with Show here but the right guy goes over and that’s what matters.
Edge reappears, with his victim. He calls out Kane but is ready to push Paul down the stairs to keep him at bay. Kane calls Edge names in a deliberate case of the pot calling the kettle black. Kane finally figures out Edge probably wants a title match in exchange for his father. But Edge still plays games and won’t give back Bearer.
These days it’s hard to predict if MVP or Drew McIntyre will advance. Neither seem to be on fire lately. McIntyre targets MVP’s left arm early, using the ring environment to his advantage. McIntyre quickly takes advantage of the debilitated face and it’s the sinister Scotsman who’ll be competing Monday night. LayCool gives us some increasingly repetitive digs at Natalya before McCool faces Kelly Kelly. In a ridiculously short match double K actually wins! This is just to set up a beat down so Beth Phoenix can make the save and destroy McCool.
The final qualifier of the night is Rey Mysterio against “Dashing” Cody Rhodes. Since two heels have already won I’m expecting Rey to win here. But before we can start Del Rio returns to join commentary. Thing is, he really doesn’t say that much. Mysterio accidentally accidentally hits Del Rio with a Seated Senton when he is aiming for Rhodes. A ref bump follows and Del Rio crotches Rey on the ring post to allow Rhodes to pick up the win. Now that I think about it 3 faces qualified on Monday so three heels from Smackdown makes sense. I don’t see Cody making round 2 but this is a nice little push for him.
Kane is no longer playing nice as he threatens Teddy Long. Edge continues to magically appear on nearby monitors. Now Edge has Paul out in the parking lot. Kane arrives in time to see his dad run down by a car but it’s an obvious manikin. Edge drives off, still holding Paul, and I’m getting really tired of this storyline.
All the KotR qualifiers were fine matches so I’m happy with this show overall. The return of the King of the Ring gave the writing staff an “Easy” button for coming up with storylines this week. Monday’s show should be good, although cramming seven matches in a three hours show may force some of them to be quite short. Still, I’m looking forward to RAW more than I have in some time.