It wasn’t a dream. Jerry Lawler is the #1 contender.
What? Vince McMahon is back?! No mention of being in a coma or the Nexus attack just straight into shilling Wrestlemania. Wrestlemania will have a guest host, which I wish we were done with, but we don’t meet this person until next week. They brought Vince back just for that? Orton replace him and he’s here to talk too. Orton is just getting started with Nexus, and just getting started with his promo when Punk shows up to interrupt. Punk steps us into the Wayback machine to 2008 when Punk was champion and Orton, along with Legacy, attacked him and Punk took the punt to the head. Punk vows to keep Orton from ever being champion again. And the Restus of Nexus show up so the group can beat Orton down. Punk has a legit nosebleed from one of Orton’s stray shots. It doesn’t look like he hits the Go To Sleep extra hard as payback.
Tonight Nexus members face Elimination Chamber competitors, starting with Mason Ryan versus R-Truth. R-Truth gets the city wrong. R-Truth picks up a storyline knee injury, which lets Ryan use an interesting new submission move to make him tap. That sure made R-Truth look bad and the post-match beatdown only makes it worse. But the referee reverses his decision and retroactively disqualifies Ryan. I haven’t seen that since a Jeff Hardy/Christopher Nowinski match back when I first started watching again. Punk wants Nexus to weaken his opponents, winning doesn’t matter.
Six diva tag with Natalya on color is best ignored.
It’s just weird to have the #1 contender being on commentary like nothing is going on. Tonight, The Miz will publically congratulate Jerry Lawler. Meanwhile Michael McGuillicutty faces John Morrison. McGuillicutty’s plan to hurt Morrison doesn’t go well at all and Morrison ends up hitting Starship Pain for the pinfall. Punk isn’t content to let Morrison walk off with the victory and he ambushes him on the entrance ramp with some kind of spray can. It does a number on Morrison’s eyes and throat so I guess it was “Arrogance” spray. A kick to the skull is the punctuation and Nexus is running roughshod over their competition so far.
Here’s The Miz. A “Jerry” chant is too Springer for me. Miz denies thinking Lawler is an easy win, or rather they are all easy wins. But Miz thinks he has a lot in common with Lawler in his prime. Lawler claims he backs up his big mouth. To prove Lawler is a cheap shot artist we show footage from last week?! We can’t go farther back? Lawler stumbles a bit on scripted dialogue rather than the improv he’s used to but they came up with a good promo for these two. Lawler even gets the upper hand on both Miz and Alex Reilly until Ted Dibiase shows up looking for revenge from that cheap shot last week. For reasons uncertain it’s Daniel Bryan who makes the save and E-GM succinctly puts Miz and Dibiase in a tag match against Lawler and Bryan.
A-Rei on commentary distracts from the match but is actually quite clever at times. “I don’t know if Lawler got here tonight in an airplane or a time machine.” It’s an okay match considering who’s in it and Lawler picks up the victory in some vain hope of making him look like he has a chance against The Miz. Aren’t you glad there are two Elimination Chamber Matches to make the PPV actually worth potentially buying?
I’m in the odd position of rooting for Sheamus as he faces David Otunga. Josh Matthews interrupts his entrance to ask him about something Mark Henry said. Henry wants Sheamus’s spot. Sheamus runs him down so well it feels like a face turn to me, Henry interrupts A-list’s entrance but Henry attacks Sheamus. I’m still rooting for Sheamus. I thought Mark Henry had formed a tag team with The Great Khali. Now he gets to come out on top of Sheamus? Otunga gets to pose over the downed Sheamus without ever having a match.
Alberto Del Rio is here! He says Santino never had a chance to beat him. Santino runs out to attack before the match and throws Del Rio over the top rope. When the match gets started Del Rio works a surprisingly flashy show but misses a lot of moves to keep Santino in the match. Del Rio does get the win of course, once again with the Cross Armbreaker.
Now I have to watch Vickie Guererro on RAW too? Cena interrupts, thankfully. Cena wastes time apologizing for R-Truth. I’m noticing less and less Cena hate from the crowd these days. Cena eggs the crowd into driving off Guererro and Ziggler so maybe we can finally get to the main event. Nope, Cena wants to talk more. Cena cleverly substitutes the phrase “elimination chamber” for “ass” as he threatens Nex-sucks. Have the writing team finally figured out that PG doesn’t mean neutered, it just means you have to be clever when you want to insult someone. Lately, the writing has been clever.
At last we see Cena face Punk. It doesn’t last long before the ref threatens to DQ Cena for pounding on Punk in the corner. Cena decides that’s a pretty good option so he blatantly low blows Punk. Nexus shows up but as Mason Ryan checks on Punk, Lawler hands Cena a chair to drive off the other two. So Cena is the only superstar to escape unscathed. Does that mean he will win? Probably.