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WWE Battleground

This Sunday is WWE Battleground! First some thoughts on the previous PPV, Money in the Bank. I didn’t to do badly on my last predictions going 2-4. I enjoyed the PPV and I thought both MITB matches were pretty stellar as was the Tag Titles match. There were some duds, including Rusev vs Big E and Paige vs Naomi, but that is to be expected. Anyway, on with the predictions.

WWE Battlefield 4 Way Match

WWE Championship Fatal Four-Way Match
John Cena vs Roman Reigns vs Kane vs Randy Orton

My pick: John Cena

Anyone who thinks they are going to the take the title off Cena after three weeks are deluding themselves, especially as the main event for Summerslam is pretty much set in stone as Cena vs Lesnar. Besides it doesn’t make much sense to take it off Cena and put it on any of the other guys in the match. Reigns needs more time to be built up. Have him win the Rumble and have him take the title at Wrestlemania. Kane is in there to stop Orton from winning the match to force The Authority to go to plan C (a.k.a. Lesna).


WWE Intercontinental Championship Battle Royal
Alberto Del Rio vs. Big E vs. Bo Dallas vs. Cesaro vs. Curtis Axel vs. Diego vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango vs. Heath Slater vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Rob Van Dam vs. R-Truth vs. Ryback vs. Sheamus vs. Sin Cara vs. The Great Khali vs. The Miz vs. Titus O’Neil vs. Xavier Woods vs. Zack Ryder

My pick: Dolph Ziggler
Wildcards: Sheamus, The Miz or Bo Dallas

Whereas the main event is probably the easiest match I could predict the winner. This one I really don’t have a clue. It could be any one of these guys but I am leaning towards four guys in particular. Dolph Ziggler is most dependable guy in the ring and could bring the title back to some sort of relevance again, like my next suggestion Sheamus has done with the United States title. I could see him winning to unify the titles and possibly turn heel in the process. The Miz also seems like a favourite for this match but his last title reign was a disaster but now he is back playing the heel he could use his new gimmick to show off more. My final pick is Bo Dallas, now I’m yet to be impressed with his in ring work but to be fair he’s not been in with any top workers but I love to hate him and the gimmick. That’s what a heel is supposed to do so I would give him a cheap win like having him hide or waiting outside shaking hands with performers or ringside people and then when there is one or two left have him eliminate them. Then do his little victory lap and maybe then bam! Bad News Barrett nails him with the title turning him face and setting up a feud for when he returns. A quick note on Bad News Barrett I hope this injury doesn’t side-line him too long and I hope WWE will give him the chance to get back to his spot because the Bad News gimmick is so over. I would even keep him on TV as he recovers using the gimmick to keep him over.

WWE Battlefield Match

Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose

My pick: Dean Ambrose

This will be match of the night in my opinion. They’ve worked so many times against each other on the indie scene and even in NXT where I saw a amazing match between the two. Ambrose was beaten down quite badly on RAW by Rollin, Orton and Kane. My usual theory is if you get beat or beaten down on the go home show of RAW usually means you’re coming away with the win at the big event. It’s not always right but it’s just a theory. I also think Ambrose needs the win more than Rollins right now. Rollins won’t be cashing in the briefcase for a while and I am sceptical of whether he will have the briefcase. A win could mean Ambrose challenging Rollins at Summerslam for the briefcase and possibly winning it but it’s still too soon commit to that. Ambrose’s gimmick is getting more and more over each week which is good because when they turned Rollins instead of him I thought he might struggle but it’s really working for him. I think this will be a DQ ending with Rollins using the briefcase and setting up the Summerslam match as No DQ which I’m sure will be amazing as well.


WWE Tag Team Titles 2 Out of 3 Falls
The Uso’s vs Harper and Rowan

My pick: Harper and Rowan

I predicted them to win last time out and was wrong and I’m going with them again but I could also see this feud being stretched out to Summerslam so a win here for them could mean The Uso’s would regain the titles at Summerslam. I really think this could be a contender for match of night, their match at MITB was brilliant and so have their matches on RAW. This another match that could go either way because something on RAW last week or the week before was Harper pinning the wrong Uso which could set up for perhaps a Uso’s win by pulling the old switcheroo but I really do think that Harper and Rowan win here.


Bray Wyatt vs Chris Jericho

My pick: Bray Wyatt

Wyatt will win here simply because he has to. He’s in danger of losing momentum; I don’t think his feud with Cena did him any favours. Also Jericho is one of the greats so you know you are getting a great match with him and you know he is there to put Wyatt over. They really need to start building up Wyatt as more as unstoppable heel monster with Undertaker effectively retired and Kane looking like he is slowing down. Wyatt will be perfect to pick up the monster gimmick. I see some sort of screwy ending to take the feud onto Summerslam and possibly onto Night of Champions.

WWE Battleground

Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter vs Rusev w/ Lana

My pick: Rusev

They finally turned Swagger baby face which is something I’ve expected since Rusev and Lana debuted and going on their Anti-USA tirades. I think the big plus that both Swagger and Rusev have going for them is they have two tremendous talents in Zeb and Lana doing the talking for them. The turn for Swagger and Zeb has been tremendous; I don’t even think WWE could have predicted that it could have been this well received. I think this will be a very back and forth match with Swagger out wrestling Rusev and taking him off his feet though I still see Rusev picking up the win probably off a distraction by the ravishing Russian Lana who I swear gets hotter by the day! I see this going to Summerslam where Swagger will get the win and there will be a celebration ala Lex Luger when he beat Yokozuna at Summerslam 93 except it will be better booked.


WWE Divas Title
AJ Lee vs Paige

My pick: AJ Lee

I was really torn over this one because whatever the outcome Paige will be turning heel. I could see her winning and regaining the title by heel tactics and then going on full post match beatdown. I think the most likely scenario will be Paige dominating the match and just when she has AJ beat, goes for the Paige turner and AJ counters into a small package or the black widow and gets the win. Then post match Paige flips and turns heel. I was really surprised when they took the title off Paige because I felt she was doing an adimirable job. They just weren’t booking against any of the decent worker on the Divas roster. How they put Naomi and Cameron in Divas titles matches on PPV instead of Natalya who can pull a good match out of any Diva and not afraid to put over a newcomer (see NXT match against Charlotte) is beyond me.

Well there we are folks, Please leave a comment with your own predictions. You can also follow me on twitter @KG4231 where you will find my ramblings on wrestling, film and games. Enjoy WWE Battleground!

I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I will not be writing recaps, or following the new (or any) season of Dancing With the Stars. I’ve never watched an episode, nor do I have any desire to.  I just wanted to write and issue our support for The Karate Kid! Go kick their butts Ralph Macchio (hopefully literally!).

Anyway, for those who are interested, here is the full list of “stars” and dancers for the 12th season of Dancing With the Stars.

  • Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff
  • Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
  • Mike Catherwood and Lacey Schwimmer
  • Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke
  • Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas
  • Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya
  • Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Chaplin
  • Romeo and Chelsie Hightower
  • Hines Ward and Kym Johnson
  • Kendra Wilkinson and Louis van Amstel
  • Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani

While I might not watch the show, I can’t wait to see what Joel McHale has to say about Wendy Williams’ dancing over on The Soup! Do you watch the show? Who will you be voting for?

Posted on March 2nd, 2011 by ThePit | Comments Off on I Hope He Crane Kicks the Competition!
Filed Under Entertainment

While The Slammy awards have the potential to be fun this is too soon to have a three-hour RAW on the heels of King of the Ring. Especially since I saw Survivor Series recently as well. Oh dear lord, David Arquette is here tonight. Let’s expose the business by bringing up the worst champion of all time. Now he’s trying to plug Ready to Rumble? He’s here to present Shocker of the Year.


  • Miz wins the title
  • Nexus debut
  • Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker
  • Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho out of action


  • Nexus debut

Only Barrett comes out to accept. He claims credit for Nexus even existing. He has not made up his mind yet about rehiring Cena. But he’ll be shocking. The anonymous electronic General Manager pipes up books Barrett into an immediate match against… The Big Show! Where has he been lately? Show steals Barrett’s Slammy to get him in the ring. Barrett hides in the ropes and outside for a long while before we actually see some action. We don’t see much of that before Wade grabs his award and walks off for a countout loss.

Next award is the Despicable Me moment presented by Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd with the new Diesel, aka Jackson Andrews.


  • CM Punk sings “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
  • Drew McIntyre faces and humiliates Teddy Long
  • Kane buries The Undertaker alive
  • Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin


  • CM Punk

Kind of an odd winner but I guess they want to honor Punk one last time in case his career is over. Punk uses his speech to vow revenge against an unnamed backstage adversary. Up next is a tag match. Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan form one team. I would have liked to see Kingston and R-Truth team up to put an end to the rumors they are the same person. Or is it just Vince who sees them that way? On the other side, Dolph Ziggler and Ted Dibiase. Bryan gets beaten up for most of the match, when he finally makes a tag to Kingston he comes in on fire. Kingston really looks great in brief action before picking up a quick win over Ziggler.

The Tag Champs are out to present the award for Guest Star Shining Moment of the year. Their banter is sub-par.


  • Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton
  • Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz
  • Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
  • William Shatner sings WWE Entrances

Shatner just has to win here. Nope, they gave it to Pee Wee Herman. Probably because he was the only one willing to record a promo. Punk and King agree Shatner should have won. Otunga tries to get Barrett’s decision but we’ll just have to wait.

Mark “How has my career lasted this long?” Henry heads to the ring to face Cody Rhodes. Rhodes just lost a Masterlock Challenge so he is in dire need of a win here. Rhodses’ gimmick of not wanting to be hit in the face should be more interesting than it is for some reason. But Cody actually looks decent here as he picks up the win over the world’s (long ago) strongest man.

Lawler presents the Holy @$%* moment of the year. Sadly, it’s with Vickie Guererro.


  • Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
  • John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments
  • Randy Orton delivers RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
  • John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz


  • John Cena

Orton looked better. Barrett is out again to steal Cena’s Slammy instead. Time for his decision. But he wants Cena there So here comes the banished hero. Here comes Nexus too. And Cena is rehired… on two conditions. Cena and Barrett in a Chair Match Sunday And tonight Cena faces Otunga. But Nexus is now on the same page to beat down Cena for no good reason. This is making less and less sense. What ever happened to the “much bigger picture” anyway? Cena now being rehired means we’ve basically gone in circles and made the entire idea of being fired over a match less meaningful than ever.

My cable feed goes for a bit and I miss some David Arquette as a result. So sad. He’s presenting fan reaction of the year which is too lame to even recap. Some little girl wins for being angry when Miz wins. They actually bring her out to accept only to have Miz interrupt her. Mean only Mr. Miz steals her Slammy. Miz says the moment of the year is yet to come. It will be when he beats Randy Orton. But E-GM pipes up and says both Miz and Orton will face former champions tonight. Miz is first, facing Rey Mysterio, right now.

We see little of this match as a commercial covers it. Rey looks great in what we do see but, just back from commercial, Alberto Del Rio comes out to distract Rey. But the match continues. Miz does collide with Del Rio at one point but manages a kick out. Then, with Reilly distracting the ref, Del Rio strikes Rey from behind and that lets Miz roll him up. The leads the E-GM to unveil Orton’s two opponents: Alex Reilly and former WCW champion, David Arquette.

Presenting the Oh Snap! Meltdown of the year is one of the nominees, Edge. That’s not customary. Kane is not here to co-present since he’s off having a meltdown of his own. Cue a new co-producer, Christian! His arm is in a sling but it’s great to see him.

  • Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
  • Edge destroys the Raw GM’s computer
  • Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
  • Batista quits WWE

So Edge wins this one when he’s already right there. Edge’s acceptance speech gets a little John Belushi but that’s kind of fun. Edge slags Cole who gets to flip out a little too.

Then King Leprechaun Sheamus comes to the ring for his match with John Morrison. The two roll around on the mat punching each other and shoving the ref back and giving us a double DQ after about 30 seconds. That let’s E-GM book them in a #1 contenders match at TLC in the PPV’s first Ladder Match. Morrison in a Ladder Match is something I actually want to see. But it’s Sheamus who uses a ladder to beat down Morrison here tonight.

The strange pairing of JTG and William Regal (both of whom could be gone from the roster at any moment) present Knucklehead Moment of the Year.

  • Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
  • Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
  • Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble
  • Lay-Cool gets beaten by Mae Young

JTG screws up and says the winner is “Lay-Cool beating Mae Young”. Lay-Cool seem awfully happy to win this considering the category. This leads into the Battle Royal to determine Diva of the Year. Why are these awards given out in such different ways? A Battle Royal for Diva of the Year. Fan voting for Superstar of the Year. And the rest we have no freaking clue. Is this the Olympics, the Oscars or The People’s Choice Awards?

Wisely, everyone gangs up on Lay-Cool at first. But that doesn’t last long and neither do some of the lesser Divas like Rosa Mendes and Kaitlyn. The final six are Lay-Cool, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail Kim and Alicia Fox. Layla goes but helps Michelle take out Phoenix. Natalya eliminates Kim and Fox in one move but Michelle kicks her in the face and knocks her out to win her second Diva of the year. I guess if you stroke The Undertaker you benefit from The Undertaker’s stroke. E-GM pipes up to book Lay-Cool versus Natalya and Beth Phoenix at TLC in the first ever Diva’s Tag Team Tables Match. That is actually interesting, pity I won’t get to see it.

Edge is here so we have to be reminded of the stupidity of last week’s Smackdown ending. Seriously, Teddy Long has done nothing to Edge over this? Edge faces Jack Swagger. That means two Smackdown stars have been imported to wrestle each other on RAW. How is this special? Another weakness of the three-hour show. It’s a pretty good match, but the Spear to end it looks a little weak.

Time for WWE Moment of the Year, presented by Big Show.

  • Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
  • Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
  • The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match
  • John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE

Rumors were that HBK is here. If true we know what’s going to win. It does win but HBK is only on tape. I want to just ignore the fact I’m being forced to watch David Arquette in a wrestling match. He’s not actually doing anything of course but I do not see the point of this. Half your fanbase are too young to remember when Arquette was champion anyway. Randy wins, natch, but Miz uses the briefcase he has no good reason to still have to take Orton down. Miz and Arquette set up a table Orton recovers, but Miz escapes again and it’s Arquette who goes through the table. Well, that’s something at least. This whole “Miz tries to put Orton through a table but Orton escapes and puts a Miz ally through the table” would have been more effective if they could have started it a week or two earlier and ran with it the whole time. Miz is going to win Sunday, I’m confident in that, but I expect it to be some kind of fluke or tainted win.

Cole is presenting the “And I quote” Moment slammy. There’s no official list of nominees. Just a long string of decent quotes. See if you can find this on YouTube it’s decent. And it ends on Ron Simmons, which is always fun. Cole gives himself the award. Yeah, Cole as a heel is annoying. Teddy Long is the last presenter of the evening, Superstar of the year, as voted on by the fans.

  • Edge
  • Kane
  • Rey Mysterio
  • John Cena
  • Randy Orton
  • The Miz

I guess they couldn’t risk putting The Undertaker up since he’s in no shape to accept. I would have thought Orton was still more over than Cena, but Cena takes the prize. This assumes WWE didn’t just rig the poll, which you never know. Cena’s speech is so white bread it’s not interesting. Cena claims he has taken out every member of Nexus, but Otunga and Barrett. They all seem to be still standing to me. The show is already supposed to be over by the time Otunga finally makes his way to the ring. Barrett turns the tables on Otunga and has Nexus walk out on Otunga. Otunga gets ZERO offense in the short match before tapping to the STF. This was the definition of a squash. Then Cena adds injury to injury by beating Otunga with a chair. At least Otunga can sell.

The Slammys themselves were kind of fun but the rest of the night was nothing special. And selling the PPV wasn’t as much of the focus as it should be on the go home RAW. David Arquette was a dark time in pro wrestling history that should not have been dredged back up in 2010. Three hour shows need to be really special. This didn’t achieve that.

Lucians Wrestling Recap

Back from Thanksgiving with the family and ready to catch up on wrestling. My cable gave way, but I still have the show saved from the night before so I should see all of it. They’re in Seattle. Cena comes out alone. In his own colors with an armband his sleeve almost covers. Crowd is practically at war with itself over him now. Cena recaps the story so far. He has to do what Wade Barrett says or be fired from the WWE. How can the RAW GM ban Cena from going to Smackdown or (guffaw) NXT?

Oddly, it’s The Miz (with sycophant) who interrupts Cena. Oh yeah, Miz is RAW team captain for Bragging Rights. Miz reminds us all Big Show betrayed RAW last time around. Miz actually makes nice and offers Cena a spot on the team. Cena wants to be captain instead. That draws Barrett. Cena’s dance card is full. He’s in Barrett’s corner for the Orton match and that’s all. Reilly pipes up that Miz could cash in his Money in Bank contract and walk away champion.

Cue an e-mail from the GM. Cena may answer to Barrett, but they all answer to him or her. So Cena has a chance to be team captain, if he can beat The Miz tonight. The other six team members will be determined by matches tonight. Miz gets in Barrett’s face and gets double-teamed. Cena sits out until the battered Barrett manages to motion to Cena. Cena cleans house and young Reilly learns how to take an Attitude Adjustment.

First qualifier is Ted Dibiase versus R-Truth. Eve Torres has been reduced to dancing, badly, as R-Truth raps, badly. It’s not much of a match before Goldust distracts Dibiase to ultimately cost him the match. One commercial break later and we’re right into qualifier #2: John Morrison versus Tyson Kidd versus David Hart Smith. Except DHS is nowhere to be found. This is a much better match. Morrison hits a move to finish like I’ve never seen before. Huge wow factor. I haven’t seen anything that nice since the Canadian Destroyer. Just when I had written Morrison off he’s on fire all over again. Qualifier #3 is Santino Marella versus Zack Ryder. It’s like resistible force versus easily moveable object. Woah! The Cobra just won a match! I’ll give you even odds Marella gets replaced before the match. More crappy romance subplot with Tamita.

The other Nexus guys want to know why Michael McGuillicuddy and Husky Harris helped Barrett. They get no answers as Barrett returns to shut everyone up. Barrett thinks Otunga might be getting jealous, but Otunga manages to finagle out of facing Randy Orton tonight by volunteering Justin Gabriel. Slater and Otunga are in Gabriel’s corner as he faces Orton, but they are ejected in short order. Gabriel continues to prove he is the best wrestler in Nexus. Gabriel goes for the 450 but Orton almost rolls out of the way and he can recover first to hit the RKO for the pin.

Okay, is Sheamus going to embarrass Daniel Bryan again? The 4th spot on Team RAW is up for grabs. Seattle is Bryan’s hometown. By Vince’s twisted logic that means he’s more likely to lose. He’s on fire out of the gate and the crowd is totally behind him. This turns into a good competitive match, but Sheamus eventually hits a Brogue Kick and beats the US champion. Spot #5 is between Evan Bourne and, newly acquired from Smackdown, CM Punk (which most of us already knew). Nobody is surprised CM Punk wins, nor that he beats down Bourne afterwards. But hey, it’s a Ring of Honor reunion! Some people have complained that guys change brand loyalties on a dime, but in the sense that pro wrestling is influenced by legit sports it makes sense. Let’s say you are on the Toronto Blue Jays. You play the Yankees on Friday. On Saturday you get traded to the Yankees. Then on Sunday you are playing against the Blue Jays. If a bench clearing brawl breaks out you better well be out there swinging with the guys at the front, because you need to prove your loyalty instantly or your life with that team is going to be hell.

Okay, now the Big Show’s movie I actually want to see. R-Truth wants Cena to quit the WWE rather than remain in Nexus. Ummm… up yours? Natalya has a rematch at Bragging Rights. LayCool are running out of ways to insult people. Lame segment best ignored. To quote Lawler “Get the hook.”

Main event time. No Disqualifications which means Reilly and or Barrett could be the deciding factor. Put your money on Barrett. As limited as these two are they can keep a crowd interested in a match and that’s a big part of succeeding in this business. Reilly tries to interfere, but Cena makes short work of him. Then, proving I shouldn’t be a betting man, it’s Husky Harris and IRS Jr that cost Cena the match. The season 2 rookies beat on Cena, who is fighting them off, until Wade Barrett stops him. E-GM decides they need a real match, next week, against John Cena and Randy Orton. Barrett pipes up that if Husky and Michael can win, that they get into Nexus. Barrett taunts Cena to end the night. Cena plays up the “I want to kick the crap out of this guy” expressions like a pro. Oh wait, he is a pro actor now. Wow, this show is going way over time.

Morrison’s new finisher is the Moonlight Drive.

NXT features Name That Tune. It’s inoffensive and AJ runs away with it. She has 1900 points; second place is 100. Naomi faces Alicia Fox. I’d rather see Naomi win and she doesn’t so I don’t care at all. Competition number two is the Power of the Punch, but first we’re “treated” to some mic time from the divas. For those who missed it before the Power of the Punch is just a mechanical punching bag power meter. Naomi wins and, suspiciously, it often seems whoever goes first wins. Almost like everyone else were told to tank so the winner could be rigged. The main event is AJ versus Aksana. AJ wins. And the payoff of the Aksana immigration storyline is Goldust proposes to her. Wrestling weddings, do they ever go well?

Be back later this week with some Smackdown and a little TNA for you. See you then!

Lucians Wrestling Recap

We’ve had a very short build up to “Hell in a Cell” and we’re already in the home stretch. We open with The Miz and Alex Reilly. Daniel Bryan has challenged them to a tag match. Miz says every Monday night Daniel Bryan gets a beat down. He comes out, to Flight of the Valkyries again, and reveals his partner, John Morrison. We go straight to the match. Reilly is still pretty limited, but he holds his own here. The match isn’t long enough to warrant a commercial break and Miz gets a clean win on Bryan with a Skull Crushing Finale. What’s interesting is a brawl breaks out and Bryan and Morrison end up going after each other as well as Miz and Reilly. The anonymous General Manager speaks through his mouthpiece Michael Cole to announce a Triple Threat for the US Title between Bryan, Miz and Morrison in a new Submissions Count Anywhere match.

We get a women’s Battle Royale to determine a #1 contender with LayCool on commentary. LayCool are getting repetitive and annoying again after their brief stint of being entertaining while they were on NXT. The good news is Natalya wins this match so at least she’s getting pushed more than her male Hart Dynasty compatriots. Maryse and/or Ted Dibiase still have a stalker, but he or she promises something happens next week.

Sheamus gives us a lesson in Irish folklore then issues an open challenge. The Great Khali, arguably the worst wrestler on the roster, answers the call. Unable to manhandle his opponent Sheamus is reduced to strikes before he quickly gets disqualified for throwing an announce chair on Khali. Sheamus’s pale white chest is marked with a huge red handprint from Khali’s chop, but the Irishman comes out on top of the post match beat down.

Somehow, Edge is going to interview the GM on his talk show segment The Cutting Edge. E-GM uses a bad computer voice. It’s a terrible segment best ignored, but it sets up Edge to face John Cena. It’s a decent little match and Edge spears Cena for the win. The E-GM rightfully points out Cena’s foot was under the bottom rope and restarts the match. Of course, Cena wins this time. Edge goes 2001 on the talking laptop and destroys it.

Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel barely beat Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. So their stock looks to be dropping. Or course all five of Nexus beat them down afterwards. The GM has ruled if the rest of Nexus interfere in the match at HiaC then Cena automatically wins and Nexus is disbanded. Nexus plans to invade Smackdown on Friday. So the WWE bigwigs think Nexus will draw viewers to the SyFy premiere… yet they still plan to break up the group? Ah, Cena is going too. That makes more sense.

The tag champs, the chosen one Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, and the Hart Dynasty mix it up again, in another title match. It’s a short match and the Harts get buried again. Now they’re teasing a break up.

Our main event is Chris Jericho versus Randy Orton. This seems like such a forgone conclusion I’m tempted to just go to bed early. Jericho starts off on the stick. He’s giving a lengthy and impressive list of people he’s beaten that has to be cut off by a commercial. He’s still going after the commercial, remember this is live, and he’s even naming TNA guys! Funaki was in there! Orton finally interrupts them and Cole points out this is their first one-on-one match in the history of RAW. It ends up being a pretty good match, but it’s ultimately meaningless as Sheamus interferes and gives Orton the DQ win. Orton sets up Sheamus for the punt to the head, but Jericho ambushes Orton with a Codebreaker. Jericho goes for a chair and that gives Orton time to recover and RKO Jericho. The crowd are chanting “Punt!” That’s the coolest thing a crowd has done in a long time. Orton doesn’t let them down as he delivers one hell of a kick to Jericho’s head. Did he just knock him off contract?

Word has come down that NXT is to become a web only show. In other words WWE couldn’t find a single TV network willing to pick it up. In the 500 channel universe that’s sad. However, the show will continue to air outside the US. That includes Canada, lucky me. So I’ll be recapping the remaining episodes of this season, but I don’t see any chance of there being another.

They have a wheelbarrow race as the first challenge. Just in case that didn’t suck enough, Hornswoggle shows up to be the passenger. Kaytln wins. You can tell there’s a PPV Sunday because this show is packed with recaps. We’re at the three quarters mark and we’ve had no matches and one challenge. We’re ending with a challenge, called Dis the Diva, which means no matches. Seriously, no matches? The last time this show will be on US TV and they show no matches? Was there any doubt this show is considered a joke now? AJ wins. AJ at least has a likable character but she has the chest of a 10-year old so I don’t see WWE letting her win.

The live Smackdown better be good. Because I was set to get the PPV and now I’m having second thoughts…

Wrestling Recap WWE

I wanted to take a moment to say “hi!’ to those of you who are seeing this at Hollywood the Game. Welcome, the more the merrier!

Night of Champions has come and gone. Bryan Danielson holds WWE gold. Randy Orton is the champion at last. Kane retained. Michelle McCool unified the Women’s belts. Dolph Ziggler kept his title and after an unannounced Tag Team Turmoil match Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes are now Unified Tag Team Champions. Oh, and Big Show buried CM Punk. Plus Chris Jericho may be out of WWE for the time being.

We have a new champion to begin RAW. Let’s see how many times he’s interrupted before he’s done talking. Spoke too soon. Before Randy even starts talking Sheamus interrupts. Sheamus is tired of getting robbed of the title in multi-man matches. Orton can’t beat Sheamus for the title. Orton speaks, reminding him he won the title in a Fatal Fourway and, when they did face, Sheamus got himself disqualified. Both threaten to kick the other in the head. This draws an email from our anonymous General Manager. The rematch is set for the Pay Per View in 13 days (surprise, surprise) inside Hell in a Cell. That’s what the PPV is called after all. Sheamus is happy with that but he wants the title belt until then. Orton goes on a nice spiel where he talks like a heel and the crowd loves him for it. Seriously, he says he’d RKO his grandmother to keep the title and the crowd eats it up. RKO ends the segment.

The Hart Dynasty joins commentary, and Tyson Kidd isn’t doing that well. As the new tag champs take on Vladamir Koslov and Santino Marella. It lasts longer than most of Santino’s matches, but Drew gets a clean pin over Koslov to help establish themselves as a team. Jericho isn’t gone yet and faces John Morrison tonight. Morrison can get over on his athleticism alone if WWE lets him. This guy makes his warm up interesting. Jericho is now denying he ever said he’d quit. Jericho and Morrison have a decent little match. Morrison escapes the Walls a couple of times and picks up the win with Starship Pain. Even in defeat there are a lot of “Y2J” chants for Jericho. Good match.

Zach Ryder and Edge continue their funny backstage bits when Bryan Danielson asks them to keep it down. Edge decides he wants Bryan tonight as Ryder holds up a backward L to insult him. The Miz writes off his loss due to being injured. He’s out to watch Edge face Daniel Bryan. The winner of this match will be very telling. Bryan comes out to new music, Flight of the Valkyries. The Miz has signed Alex Reilly, not at rigngside, to a personal services contract. The Miz has a Virgil. More good wrestling on this episode. Reilly runs in, just to distract the ref to allow Miz to hit Bryan and give Edge the win… But the GM reverses the decision. So they don’t have enough faith in Bryan to give him a clean win over Edge. Instead he takes a backseat to The Miz and Edge feuding with the GM. The segment finish is Miz and Reilly beating down Bryan.

LayCool is being called the Unified Divas Championship. They dropped Women’s for Diva’s? That’s sad. Layla is defending the title tonight, in Melina’s rematch. Melina tries to go after McCool, but has to return to the ring to avoid a countout. Layla is a far better prospect than McCool as Layla hits a great move of the top turnbuckle and wins the match.

Jericho shills his new DVD. Orton tries to shut him up by offering a match next week where if Jericho wins Orton will give him a title shot. Orton is pretty sure he can shut up Jericho for a long time. I think R-Truth’s new rap is worse. He and Eve face Dibiase and Maryse. Not much of a match, with Eve getting the win. Afterward, mystery stalker sends a message by TitanTron, but still doesn’t clarify who the target of the affections is.

Cena is supposed to face Wade Barrett, but Barrett make him go through the whole of Nexus in a Gauntlet Match. Cena actually does a very nice Dropkick in the match. John gets through all of them except Gabriel when the whole pack attack him to draw a DQ. They try to bring a chair into the ring, but Cena gets a hold of it and scatters them. Cena still wants the match. Barrett will face Cena at Hell in a Cell, but if Cena loses he joins Nexus. Cena counters that if he wins Nexus is done.

At this point I’m leaning towards Nexus breaking up, but with his film over a Cena heel turn could freshen up RAW and revitalize Nexus in one swoop. Or Cena becomes the reluctant member. Three options and I expect they’ll choose the worst.

NXT featured CM Punk taking Michael Cole’s spot, musical chairs and an immigration storyline. Michael Cole just comes back, which makes the whole thing pointless. The main event is six diva tag action. Naomi and Jamie join Kelly Kelly to face Katlyn and LayCool. The babyfaces actually pick up the win. It’s Katlyn who takes the pin of course.

RAW had some direction this week. With only thirteen days until the next PPV there was no time for a slow build. While I’d prefer a few less big shows a year this pace has some benefits. As for NXT, the diva season was a mistake and no matter how many sideplots and bells and whistles they try to add it can’t change that fact. We will have to see if Smackdown can be just as good.

Wrestling Recap WWE

WWE Monday Night Raw
Nexus is out to brag at length about their successes over The Undertaker, John Cena, Sheamus and Randy Orton last week. It’s okay, but it goes on too long. Orton is the first one to interrupt. Two problems. First, they claim to single-handedly have taken out The Undertaker. There are 5 of them. They can’t do anything single-handedly. They also claim they will bring the title back home to Nexus. They never had it in the first place, how can they bring it back? The E-Gm E-pipes up to book Nexus in some singles matches. Gabriel v Cena. Orton v Barrett. And yeah, Nexus banned from ringside. I feel like we’ve done this before and with more than just two Nexus members in action.

Jericho is out and E-GM is pissed at him and Edge for walking out of the main event last week. So tonight they both have matches and if they lose they are out of the Six Pack Challenge. Jericho’s opponent is “Job” Morrison. Just to show how little a threat Morrison is Jericho spends most of the match yelling at Michael Cole demanding to know who the E-GM is. At this point? A let down, that’s who. Seriously, there is no credible GM option that is worth all the build up. I’ve already said Paul Heyman, but I’d also love to see John “Bradshaw” Layfield to take up the position. But then, to everyone’s amazement, Morrison actually wins! What is going on with his contract negotiations?

Melina puts her title on the line before the Unification Match at Night of Champions. Alicia Fox calls it the Undefined Championship. She screws up big again. What does anyone see in this woman? After that performance even if she had been booked to win the match they would have changed it on the fly. Dreadful, just dreadful.

Maybe The Miz will save the show. Coming later “The Road to Awesome”. I’m down with that. Edge gripes to Zack Ryder about having to put his shot on the line. These two bring the funny. And they want to face each other tonight. Edge even threatens the E-GM’s laptop. Is Zack Ryder turning face? Is he the new Funaki? Well anything that gets his sweet entrance music played every week is fine with me.

Maryse is with Ted Dibiase. Somebody has a stalker, but both of them think they’re the object of the stalker’s affections. Again, entertaining but not what I want to make up a large portion of my wrestling program. The mid-show match is Cena/Gabriel. The simple fact this is an average length match tells you Justin Gabriel is among the best of Nexus. Cena picks up the win, but it’s an acceptable teenage match.

Is Jerry Lawler actually trying to convince us Legendary has a low screen count by choice? At least they show a new preview of the film. This will probably air on every WWE show this week.

The Miz has been in WWE for six years now? Wow. Oh they are going all the way back to Tough Enough. Miz is at his best when he’s speaking from his heart. And going through his career and saying what other people said about him at the time is right up his alley. And demanding the audience admit they were wrong? Well, allow me to admit I was. Yay! It’s Daniel Bryan, now with bad entrance music, on interruption duty tonight. He mocks his own entrance music. He mocks his rookie status. And yes! Bryan wants a US Title Shot. A rare screw up from Miz as he calls Summerslam, Smackdown. What’s in the water in DC? Is the collective stupidity of that many politicians in one place contagious? Miz actually accepts the challenge. Miz attacks. Bryan counters and goes for the Crossface and Alex Reilly arrive. Bryan comes out on top, getting Reilly to tap out. They’ve given Bryan’s finisher an official name, but I’ll be damned if I can make it out.

Edge comes out, but it’s not Zack Ryder who will face him. It’s The Great Khali. Edge teases smashing the computer but, sadly, no. Edge wastes a lot of time mocking Khali by playing Frankenstein’s Monster outside the ring. Then Edge goes after Khali’s brother and tricks Khali into getting counted out. Dud of a match and not that entertaining. So E-GM restarts the match as a No-DQ Over-the-to-rope challenge. For once it’s a good bait and switch on WWE’s part.

Josh “Nobody Likes You” Matthews tries to interview Chris Jericho. He says nothing. So John Morrison shows up to check if Jericho still considers himself the best in the world at what he does. Maybe, when I had finally written off Morrison, he’s getting a third or fourth chance.

Sheamus is out to watch the main event. Kanrak says: Sheamus interferes to cost Randy Orton the match. I’ve been wrong once tonight, but then Cena and Edge join too and there’s five guys on commentary. This will be a cluster****. Did they just say next week is Raw Roulette? I love Raw Roulette. Cena vows to face the winner of this match next week.

Solid match. Barrett’s finisher is now called Wasteland. Darren Young comes out? I had hoped we’d seen the last of him and now they want to make him a face? And I’m wrong twice tonight as Orton takes advantage of the distraction to RKO Barrett for the win. Darren Young tries to be buddy, buddy with Orton only to eat an RKO. This kills the tiny amount of heat Young had managed to regain with his interruption. Edge attacks, RKO. Sheamus attacks, RKO. Man, Randy Orton really is the new Steve Austin. Well, he had a better start than the Ringmaster. That leaves Orton and Cena to have a long staredown. RAW just loves going over time lately.

Any RAW you can call unpredictable is a step up. This wasn’t bad but too many people who are not in the hunt for a title are spinning their wheels waiting to get past Night of Champions. And we still don’t have #1 contenders for the Tag Championships.

LaBelle Lock is the name of Bryan’s finisher.

Okay, remember that incredible 6’9” NXT rookie I was gushing over last week? Well, she already got canned. Apparently there are some less than PG pictures of her online. Didn’t WWE used to make deals with Playboy to have its Divas pose in the magazine annually? So, anyway the new, all diva NXT kicks off with only five weeks left before Smackdown takes its timeslot. No word on the future of the show after that.

There are only six rookies, as befits a five-week season. They are:

Jamie / Pro: Bella Twins

  • the former announcer from this show
  • loves the Twilight Saga, well, that will teach her how to suck
  • she gives 110%. That really sets her apart

Aksana / Pro: Goldust

  • Lithuanian
  • former fitness model
  • it helps to be able to pronounce the letter W when you work for WWE

Naomi / Pro: Kelly Kelly

  • sassy, funny, feisty
  • sings, raps, dances

AJ / Pro: Primo

  • also feisty
  • writes poetry, screenplays
  • likes comics, plays video games
  • she wants an action figure with exaggerated body parts

Maxine / Pro: Alicia Fox

  • they don’t let Alicia talk long after her major flubs on RAW
  • they are playing up her confidence
  • she has business sense, street sense and common sense. And yet she’s on this show

??? / Vickie Guererro

  • they keep it a secret for now
  • her name is Katlene
  • most of us were hoping for Awesome Kong
  • she’ll give you a wedgie

None of these people stand out yet. Wait, how can the first elimination be in four weeks? Did this show get a new timeslot? Are they going to keep adding new WWE stars forever? The dance off sucks but whoever wins the most challenges in the first four weeks is immune to being voted off at the first elimination. Naomi wins this time.

The hard sell of Legendary continues. Naomi seems to have some skill in the ring. Maxine, not so much. There’s a flag grabbing race challenge too. Naomi wins again. She’s getting a bit of a push here, isn’t she? But overall, I’m not impressed. WWE doesn’t value what I value in Divas, which is talent in the ring itself. This looks to be a lackluster season no matter how long it lasts.

Recaps for Smackdown and TNA to come…

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