Dedicated to Craig Rose, a shining light has gone out in this realm.
I do like the Smackdown opening credits. We’re in Long Island. Too bad Zach Ryder is on RAW. Alberto will throw another party tonight.
Can you dig it sucka?!
It’s Booker T, in a suit, being introduced as an announcer. He stops by the ring to deliver a Spinaroonie. Did I ever mention I once saw Lance Storm do a Spinaroonie? And it was live.
Here comes Vickie, with Dolph. Josh Matthews is saying Teddy Long might never be back. Tonight qualifying matches for the Smackdown Elimination Chamber Match, where the title is on the line. Dolph and Lay-Cool have a match tonight against Kelly Kelly and Edge. And Vickie wants Kelly out here RIGHT NOW! Huh? The title is on the line in this match? Vickie plans to humiliate KK and make her the reason Edge loses his title. Kelly goes off on Vickie and it comes close to acting. Dolph gets some mic time too. Dolph is the uncrowned World Heavyweight Champion, according to him. KK slaps Dolph clean off his feet but Lay-Cool come to Vickie’s rescue. That draws Edge. Everyone backs off and we go to commercial.
It’s the tag champs and who I now know spells her name Tamina. We recap the punt to the skull of Husky Harris who is apparently off camera indefinitely. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater of The Corre get a non-title match. Heath Slater still needs to go away. 450 from Justin Gabriel on Kozlov earn The Corre the winn.
The first qualifier is Kofi Kingston versus Drew McIntyre. Edge and Dolph Ziggler get in the chamber automatically so we only need 4 qualifiers. Booker T is anti-Cole. I like him. He still needs to find his feet though. He does seem to focus on the match though. Cole does his best to distract from what turns out to be a decent match by running down Jerry Lawler and discouraging anyone from getting the Pay Per View. Alberto Del Rio gets an introduction even when he’s just on the Titantron. Kofi falls victim to the distraction and a Future Shock DDT and Drew McIntyre gets a big push all of the sudden.
That awesome western promo plays again.
Rey Mysterio is getting into the ring despite his very real injuries when he’s supposed to be sparing himself for Wrestlemania where he faces his handpicked opponent, Cody Rhodes. He’s facing Jack Swagger in a qualifier I hope Swagger wins. Rhodes is never far from the announce team’s lips.
I have to pause the show to let a friend know of Craig’s passing. Not fun.
Again, a decent match but Mysterio winning means he’s going to submit himself to an Elimination Chamber.
Edge thinks Kelly will cost him his title. Kelly is not happy and also not over Drew McIntyre. Out comes Hornswoggle with Rosa Mendez. Now Roberto Rodriguez is announcing Alberto Del Rio. He has such swagger. Alberto clears up that he is interrupting the midget. He needs to be reminded where they are. He’s offering the piñata to Hornswoggle. It’s about 8 feet up how is this supposed to work? He does bring it down after a while. Hornswoggle crotches Del Rio with the stick. When he recovers he kicks the leprechaun in the head. Then he beats down the poor little guy until Kofi Kingston makes the save and drives Del Rio off. Nope he sneaks back and attacks. A good old fashioned caning follows. Then a Cross Armbreaker that needs a host of referees to break.
The Elimination Chamber was designed by the Devil himself. So I guess Eric Bischoff really is in the WWE doghouse now.
Okay I do not buy Chavo Guererro making the Elimination Chamber. So I’m betting heavily on Kane. Yeah, it’s a squash. Last qualifier is Big Show versus Wade Barrett and the whole Corre is out to support him. We’re not far into the match before a ref bump allows Jackson to level Show. Show manages one kick out but a DDT on a kneeling show finishes it and Barrett is in the Chamber. The Corre beats down Show after with Jackson again Bodyslamming Show. Big Show’s problem these days is when they want someone to look tough they have them take down the Big Show. He’s the Worf of the WWE.
The western promo again? Eh, that’s okay.
Main event time. Vickie again bans Edge using the Spear. Edge starts of course but it’s only a matter of time before Ziggler tags out and, as Josh Matthews puts it:
Ladies and gentlemen, Kelly Kelly is defending the World Heavyweight Championship.
Once Kelly is in Lay-Cool have no reason to tag Ziggler when they can just keep trading places and double teaming Kelly Kelly. When Kelly is finally able to tag the ref misses it. But Kelly hits a Spear on Layla and gets the win! Vickie only banned Edge from using the move. But Vickie fires KK. Vickie gives Dolph yet another rematch next week with Vickie as the special guest referee. And Dolph punctuates it all with a Zig Zag.
I can respect the idea of doing something different. But defending the World Heavyweight Title in a handicap mixed tag match? I’m not a big fan. Three of the qualifying matches were good. Booker T needs time to improve and losing Matt Striker was not that good. Let’s hope Booker wrestles at least as often as Jerry Lawler. Dolph Ziggler is getting tired in the title picture and needs to turn face. Del Rio feuding with Kingston until Elimination Chamber works. Post-PPV shows often stutter a bit and this was no exception. But at least the overall direction is working.