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I can’t even begin to describe just how angry I am about the just announced Buffy the Vampire Slayer remake. First lets take a look at the official press release:

Atlas Entertainment announced today it is rebooting the beloved franchise, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, with Warner Bros. Pictures. Atlas’ Charles Roven and Steve Alexander will produce the feature film alongside Doug Davison and Roy Lee of Vertigo Entertainment (The Ring, How to Train Your Dragon, The Departed). Whit Anderson is writing the script.

Warner Bros. Pictures optioned the rights from creators Fran and Kaz Kuzui, and from Sandollar Productions (Sandy Gallin and Dolly Parton), for Atlas and Vertigo to produce. Buffy the Vampire Slayer first appeared as a film in 1992, subsequently becoming a cult hit and spawning the wildly popular television series starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz, among many others.

“Whit approached us with an exciting idea about how to update Buffy,” said Roven. “There is an active fan base eagerly awaiting this character’s return to the big screen. We’re thrilled to team up with Doug and Roy on a re-imagining of Buffy and the world she inhabits. Details of the film are being kept under wraps, but I can say while this is not your high school Buffy, she’ll be just as witty, tough, and sexy as we all remember her to be.”

There is so much wrong with this news.  First, Joss Whedon is not involved with the remake. Joss is Buffy. Without him they should remove the name and try their own thing. Why in the world would they cut Joss out of the mix? He has stated for years that he’d love to bring a Buffy movie to theaters and both Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz have also said they’d reprise their roles for a theatrical version (others have also expressed interest as well, including James Marsters, Nicholas Brendon, and Anthony Head). That “active fan base” that is “eagerly awaiting this character’s return to the big screen” is not eagerly awaiting a remake. They want to see the Buffy they grew up with. They want to see the Buffy that defeated the Master, fell in love with a vampire with a soul, had the best friends anyone could ask for, found a father figure in Giles, that died saving the world (twice!), and that shared her power to make the world a safer place. They don’t want to see a carbon copy of her, because guess what, she WILL NOT BE as “witty, tough, and sexy” as our Buffy.

The new reboot is remaking the movie, so at least this horrible idea will not be able to feature Willow, Xander, Giles, Angel, Spike, Oz, Tara, and everyone else we fell in love with over the course of the series. Nor will it be able to be set in Sunnydale, a fictional city that truly was the heart of the show. Characters the movie can (and will likely) use? Luke Perry’s Pike, Donald Sutherland’s “watcher” Merrick, Rutger Hauer’s villainous vampire Lothos, and of course Paul Reubens’ one-armed vampire Amilyn. What were some of the other differences with the big screen Buffy? Well, the movie’s vampires didn’t “vamp out”, nor did they turn to dust, and one of Buffy’s super powers was cramps.

Let’s just point out exactly what this reboot is. This is two greedy SOBs named Fran and Kaz Kuzui, who are mislabeled in the press release as Buffy “creators” when they just own the rights, that are trying to milk the fan base of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer to make a quick buck and are trying to capitalize on the Twilight vampire “craze”. By rebooting the series they do not have to pay the true Buffy creator Joss Whedon, nor do they have to pay the cast from the TV series (I’d imagine both Gellar and Boreanaz would be pricey). They can hire someone like Whit Anderson, a background actress with no writing experience, at what is likely scale pay to write a crap script. They are going to push it right into production and try to get it into theaters as early as 2011. The director will likely be a straight-to-video hack or even more likely, a music video director who will be making his first feature.

As a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer who owns every season of the show (and spinoff Angel) on DVD, all of the comics that have been published, T-Shirts, video games, and yes, even the original movie, I will not be supporting this reboot in any way. I will not see it in theaters, nor will I buy it on Blu-Ray when it comes out. I will not be wasting any of my Netflix orders on it, or even wasting my time watching it when it comes to basic Cable. Fuck you Fran and Kaz Kuzui.

I will, however, continue to “eagerly await” the next issue of Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 8 comic book that comes out the first week of December.

Article by PJ Flip with contributions from The Pit.

The CW Network has updated their Smallville photo gallery with pictures of Laura Vandervoort as Supergirl and James Marsters as Brainiac. Also intriguing is a picture with witht he caption “Lex Luthor “. Another clone? Or could it be the real Luthor?  Start here for the picture’s with Marsters, and over here for the pics of Vandervoort’s return.

David E. Kelly (Boston Legal, The Practice, Ally McBeal) is bringing DC Comic’s hero Wonder Woman back to TV. The superhero was famously portrayed by Lynda Carter in the 70’s series The New Adventures of Wonder Woman.  It would have been cool to have this on the air at the same time as Smallville with possible crossovers, but who knows what kind of world Kelly is planing to craft. Ultra-realistic? Will it have more of a legal feel like his other shows? Over in the comics, Wonder Woman’s costume and history was recently redesigned/updated to look more modern and realistic.

Bryan Fuller (Pushing Daisies) is remaking The Munsters. This is cool on many levels.

Summer Glau to guest star as Greta on Chuck, and tonight, Stacy Keibler will guest star as Greta on.  This gag with the different agents taking over the Greta role in the buy more is fun, but I couldn’t help but think that they could have used Glau in a bigger role. Keibler is guest starring and will throw fists with another ex-professional wrestler, Stone Cold Steve Austin, who makes a return appearance.

FOX’s Lone Star is the first show to get canceled, after only two episodes, while ABC’s My Generation is the second show to get canceled, also after only two episodes. What will be next? Likely Undercovers, which is at the bottom of the NBC ratings pool.

Snooki is starring in her own dating show and writing a book? It’s not April Fools Day yet, is it?

Eliza Dushku will guest star on The Big Bang Theory. She will play an FBI agent named Angela.

TV Flipped Column with PJ Flip

Smallville

The final season of Smallville is almost upon us! Here is some of the latest news about the end of the long running “young Superman” drama:

  • John Schneider will return as Jonathan Kent in the premiere and will guest star in a number of episodes throughout the season.
  • James Marsters will return as Braniac in the 200th episode. Rumors are saying that he might not be the evil Braniac that we know and love, but a different version of the character.
  • Laura Vandervoort will return as Kara/Supergirl for at least one episode, maybe more? I hope so.
  • The Superman suit appeared in the Comic Con trailer. It was the actual suit worn by Brandon Routh in Superman Returns.  I hope if this is the suit Clark wears, they they replace the maroon with red. The Returns suit was a bit of a disappointment.
  • Cat Grant will become a recurring character with Keri Lynn Pratt replacing Emilie Ullerup. She will become Clark’s new partner at the Daily Planet. Where does that leave Lois?
  • Michael Shanks will return as Hawkman. He appeared in the Smallville: Absolute Justice TV Movie that featured the JSA.
  • Sahar Biniaz has been cast as Hawkgirl, and I think we can all assume that she’ll be in the same episode of Hawkman.
  • Bradley Stryker has been cast as Deadshot, a member of the Suicide Squad.
  • Blue Beetle and Booster Gold will appear in an episode. Both are long running DC Comic characters.
  • Justin Hartley, aka Oliver Queen/Green Arrow, will direct an episode.

Are you excited for Smallville‘s final season? What news do you want to hear?

TV Flipped Column with PJ Flip

Just wanted to make a quick article with some of the awesome TV casting news from the past week. More news soon…

  • Linda Hamilton, aka Sarah Connor, has been cast as Chuck’s mother on Chuck.
  • James Marsters will return as Braniac on the 200th episode of Smallville. Also on Smallville, Clark Kent will be getting a new partner at the Daily Planet, Cat Grant.
  • Joe Manganiello, werewolf Alcide, has been promoted to be a series regular on True Blood.
  • Alfred Molina has joined the cast of Law & Order: Los Angeles as Deputy DA Morales. Skeet Ulrich is the only other major character to be cast on the show.
  • SyFy shows Eureka and Warehouse 13 to have two cross over shows later this season. Claudia, Allison Scagliotti, will appear in an episode of Eureka and Fargo, Neil Grayston, will appear in an episode of Warehouse 13.

No more remakes, leave Buffy and Aliens alone

Not once, but twice this week I’ve been pissed off so much that I haven’t felt like writing about movies or the movie business.  Earlier this week came a report that Roy Lee and Doug Davison of Vertigo Entertainment are working with Fran and Kaz Rubel on a remake/relaunch of Buffy the Vampire Slayer without the input of creator Joss Whedon. Now there is a report that Fox is going forward with a remake of Alien. Seriously, why?

I enjoyed the original Buffy movie, but was completely blown away by the television show. Like many fans, I’ve followed the characters I love into the comics and will continue to follow them into the future. A future we all hoped might include a feature film. Now we get word that a feature is in the works. A feature without Joss Whedon? Without Sarah Michelle Gellar? Without David Boreanaz? No James Marsters? Alyson Hannigan? Anthony Head?  Buffy is nothing without the world Joss created. If they want to go ahead and make a movie about a vampire slayer, than go ahead, why in the world would they want to piss off a fan base and call it Buffy the Vampire Slayer when it isn’t. Worse yet, when that movie tanks, it will hurt… or kill… our chances of ever seeing a REAL Buffy movie.

20th Century Fox, the franchise killer, is going to remake Alien. Ridley Scott’s original sci-fi horror film is near perfect and was followed by one of the best action sci-fi films of all time, James Cameron’s Aliens. Do they think they can top those two films?  Anything they come up with to remake this franchise will be a waste of time and as craptastic as Fox’s recent Alien vs Predator films. I really wish that Fox would stop wasting our time and stop pissing on beloved movies.

Superman Doomsday
Plot Summary: IMDB Synopsis (warning: spoilers)
Starring: Adam Baldwin (Clark Kent/Superman), Anne Heche (Lois Lane), and James Marsters (Lex Luthor).
Directed by: Lauren Montgomery, Bruce Timm, and Brandon Vietti.

“Superman Doomsday” marks the beginning of a new era for DC Comics animation. Produced in the style Bruce Timm made famous with “Batman: The Animated Series” and “Superman”, this film is adapted straight from one of DC Comic’s most famous storylines (the Death and Return of Superman) and was made for adults. The violence in the film is brutal and unforgiving. Nothing is held back in Doomsday’s rampage, or that of the Eradicator’s (fans of the comic will recognize that name that is sadly never mentioned in the film). One character’s death leaves a nice sized pool of blood and the image of a sheet draped over a murdered 7 year old girl is unsettling. I highly recommend viewing the film before you let anyone under 13 years old watch it.

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