There was a PPV this weekend. Among the winners: Team Smackdown, Daniel Bryan, LayCool and Wade Barrett by disqualification. Word is Barrett was still the planned winner until hours before the show. And, even more weird, John Cena and Otunga are tag champs. Speaking of Nexus, they open this week’s RAW. For no good reason they helped take out Undertaker in the Buried Alive match. Barrett doesn’t want to tell you why. So there. Barrett gets another title shot, special guest referee to be determined by tonight’s main event winner. It’s Orton versus any Nexus member. It takes three seconds before Cena is chosen. Otunga complains about how Cena treated him so Barrett books Otunga and Cena to face Slater and Gabriel. He immediately tells someone to lie down, but it’s Otunga he wants to do it. Otunga pretends to be conflicted better than he pretends to wrestle. But he does the job like Tommy Dreamer. So the tag belts are being hotshotted around like they mean nothing. Joy is me.
Vickie Guerrero is here. Apparently her rookie spells her name Kaitlyn. We’re getting a rematch of Dolph Ziggler versus Daniel Bryan. That doesn’t make the Pay Per View seem all that special, but tonight CM Punk is on commentary. Some nice technical wrestling early and Bryan does a dive to the outside. It’s a really good match. These guys work together well and if CM Punk weren’t such a good wrestler I’d suggest he replace Lawler full-time. The finish is weird. Bryan gets the LaBelle lock, but Vickie puts Dolph’s foot under the bottom rope. Only the ref doesn’t see it so Bryan wins anyway.
Guest star Toby Keith has shenanigans with Santino until Sheamus decides to challenge him to a match for embarrassing RAW at Bragging Rights. Cena is finally ready to quit but Barrett says he’ll have an offer Cena will like… if Cena can beat Orton tonight.
There’s a ridiculously short tag match where LayCool beat Melina and Gail Kim. The Miz makes excuses for losing and Eve comes out to give him a dressing down. She talks way better than she dances. That brings out R-Truth who must be The Miz’s next filler feud. E-GM succinctly orders a match.
Toby Keith sucks on the mic. Sheamus beats up Santino for a while. John Morrison arrives to try to get the ref to stop the match, but Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick in the corner and Santino actually rolls him up for a pin! Not even Santino can believe it and Sheamus again shows his facial expressions are stellar.
Why is the WWE bothering with these extremely limited theater runs for their movies instead of just putting them straight to DVD? It’s not like they’re waiting between them. The next step in Stand Up For WWE is to have the superstars and divas talk about how much they love their work. That’s nice, but doesn’t give me any reason to stand up for them if they’re having so much fun. Otunga is not having fun but with new Nexus members McGuillicuddy and Harris staring him down Otunga swallows his pride in the name of team unity.
It’s not much of a main event with the story focusing on Cena refusing to let Barrett aid him in any way. Cena counters an RKO into an AA but Orton actually kicks out! Orton does hit his next RKO attempt but Cena rolls out of the ring. Orton gets him back in for the punch but Barrett pulls Cena out and attacks him to get Orton disqualified. Orton goes nuts on Barrett but can’t fight off the rest of Nexus. When Cena tries to help Barrett gets on the mic to stop him. Barrett, of course, names Cena the special guest ref for Survivor Series. And the twist is predictable. If Barrett doesn’t win the title… Cena is fired. If he does win it, Cena is free from Nexus.
Over on NXT, we get a Halloween costume contest. AJ looks great as a ninja turtle, Naomi is ridiculous as a Hamburger Helper hand. Aksana is the devil, but not really sexy. She seems like she should be sexy from her look, but she doesn’t actually have any sex appeal. Maxine is the ice queen but it’s Kaitlyn who wins with her costume and impression of Vickie Guererro. Even more ridiculous is that Maxine and Naomi wrestle in costume.
There will be an elimination next week, bringing us mercifully closer to the end of this fiasco. Back in season one I loved this show. Now? Flames, flames at the sides of my head. Aksana and Goldust also get married next week. Brie Bella takes on AJ as they tease Nikki becoming more aggressive and taking over for her in the match. It happens again here and Brie is not happy, despite winning.
Ted Dibiase and Maryse are here to get back the million dollar title. Competition #2 is a candy eating contest. Somebody’s fetish gets a lot more material from this segment. Hornswoggle shows up too. Maxine wins, but Hornswoggle may have eaten some of her candy. Kaitlyn “chokes” and we get a little person Heimlich.
So our main event is Dibiase and Maryse versus Goldust and Aksana. At least they are having main show storylines cross over to this one. Just don’t expect them to have any major storyline developments. Aksana actually pins Maryse, with a fluke roll-up that makes them both look weak. The battle for the belt is what matters and, of course, Aksana and Goldust escape with it.
I’ll be back later in the week with Smackdown and TNA. I haven’t seen any spoilers but I have a sinking feeling a Kane/Big Show feud is on the way.