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Posts Tagged With pee-wee herman

While The Slammy awards have the potential to be fun this is too soon to have a three-hour RAW on the heels of King of the Ring. Especially since I saw Survivor Series recently as well. Oh dear lord, David Arquette is here tonight. Let’s expose the business by bringing up the worst champion of all time. Now he’s trying to plug Ready to Rumble? He’s here to present Shocker of the Year.

Nominees:

  • Miz wins the title
  • Nexus debut
  • Paul Bearer turns on The Undertaker
  • Randy Orton punts Chris Jericho out of action

Winner:

  • Nexus debut

Only Barrett comes out to accept. He claims credit for Nexus even existing. He has not made up his mind yet about rehiring Cena. But he’ll be shocking. The anonymous electronic General Manager pipes up books Barrett into an immediate match against… The Big Show! Where has he been lately? Show steals Barrett’s Slammy to get him in the ring. Barrett hides in the ropes and outside for a long while before we actually see some action. We don’t see much of that before Wade grabs his award and walks off for a countout loss.

Next award is the Despicable Me moment presented by Kelly Kelly and Tyson Kidd with the new Diesel, aka Jackson Andrews.

Nominees:

  • CM Punk sings “Happy Birthday” to Rey Mysterio’s daughter
  • Drew McIntyre faces and humiliates Teddy Long
  • Kane buries The Undertaker alive
  • Mr. McMahon makes truce with Bret Hart, then kicks him in the groin

Winner:

  • CM Punk

Kind of an odd winner but I guess they want to honor Punk one last time in case his career is over. Punk uses his speech to vow revenge against an unnamed backstage adversary. Up next is a tag match. Kofi Kingston and Daniel Bryan form one team. I would have liked to see Kingston and R-Truth team up to put an end to the rumors they are the same person. Or is it just Vince who sees them that way? On the other side, Dolph Ziggler and Ted Dibiase. Bryan gets beaten up for most of the match, when he finally makes a tag to Kingston he comes in on fire. Kingston really looks great in brief action before picking up a quick win over Ziggler.

The Tag Champs are out to present the award for Guest Star Shining Moment of the year. Their banter is sub-par.

Nominees:

  • Wayne Brady gets RKO’d by Randy Orton
  • Pee-wee Herman vs. The Miz
  • Mike Tyson punches out Chris Jericho
  • William Shatner sings WWE Entrances

Shatner just has to win here. Nope, they gave it to Pee Wee Herman. Probably because he was the only one willing to record a promo. Punk and King agree Shatner should have won. Otunga tries to get Barrett’s decision but we’ll just have to wait.

Mark “How has my career lasted this long?” Henry heads to the ring to face Cody Rhodes. Rhodes just lost a Masterlock Challenge so he is in dire need of a win here. Rhodses’ gimmick of not wanting to be hit in the face should be more interesting than it is for some reason. But Cody actually looks decent here as he picks up the win over the world’s (long ago) strongest man.

Lawler presents the Holy @$%* moment of the year. Sadly, it’s with Vickie Guererro.

Nominees:

  • Kofi Kingston hits Drew McIntyre with a leg drop off ladder through announce table
  • John Cena sends Batista onto a car and through the stage with two Attitude Adjustments
  • Randy Orton delivers RKO to a flying Evan Bourne
  • John Morrison dives off set onto Daniel Bryan and The Miz

Winner:

  • John Cena

Orton looked better. Barrett is out again to steal Cena’s Slammy instead. Time for his decision. But he wants Cena there So here comes the banished hero. Here comes Nexus too. And Cena is rehired… on two conditions. Cena and Barrett in a Chair Match Sunday And tonight Cena faces Otunga. But Nexus is now on the same page to beat down Cena for no good reason. This is making less and less sense. What ever happened to the “much bigger picture” anyway? Cena now being rehired means we’ve basically gone in circles and made the entire idea of being fired over a match less meaningful than ever.

My cable feed goes for a bit and I miss some David Arquette as a result. So sad. He’s presenting fan reaction of the year which is too lame to even recap. Some little girl wins for being angry when Miz wins. They actually bring her out to accept only to have Miz interrupt her. Mean only Mr. Miz steals her Slammy. Miz says the moment of the year is yet to come. It will be when he beats Randy Orton. But E-GM pipes up and says both Miz and Orton will face former champions tonight. Miz is first, facing Rey Mysterio, right now.

We see little of this match as a commercial covers it. Rey looks great in what we do see but, just back from commercial, Alberto Del Rio comes out to distract Rey. But the match continues. Miz does collide with Del Rio at one point but manages a kick out. Then, with Reilly distracting the ref, Del Rio strikes Rey from behind and that lets Miz roll him up. The leads the E-GM to unveil Orton’s two opponents: Alex Reilly and former WCW champion, David Arquette.

Presenting the Oh Snap! Meltdown of the year is one of the nominees, Edge. That’s not customary. Kane is not here to co-present since he’s off having a meltdown of his own. Cue a new co-producer, Christian! His arm is in a sling but it’s great to see him.

  • Big Show destroys Jack Swagger’s trophies
  • Edge destroys the Raw GM’s computer
  • Alberto Del Rio injures Rey Mysterio’s arm with a steel chair
  • Batista quits WWE

So Edge wins this one when he’s already right there. Edge’s acceptance speech gets a little John Belushi but that’s kind of fun. Edge slags Cole who gets to flip out a little too.

Then King Leprechaun Sheamus comes to the ring for his match with John Morrison. The two roll around on the mat punching each other and shoving the ref back and giving us a double DQ after about 30 seconds. That let’s E-GM book them in a #1 contenders match at TLC in the PPV’s first Ladder Match. Morrison in a Ladder Match is something I actually want to see. But it’s Sheamus who uses a ladder to beat down Morrison here tonight.

The strange pairing of JTG and William Regal (both of whom could be gone from the roster at any moment) present Knucklehead Moment of the Year.

  • Big Show unmasks a bald CM Punk
  • Santino Marella gets out-danced by Vladimir Kozlov
  • Beth Phoenix eliminates The Great Khali from the Royal Rumble
  • Lay-Cool gets beaten by Mae Young

JTG screws up and says the winner is “Lay-Cool beating Mae Young”. Lay-Cool seem awfully happy to win this considering the category. This leads into the Battle Royal to determine Diva of the Year. Why are these awards given out in such different ways? A Battle Royal for Diva of the Year. Fan voting for Superstar of the Year. And the rest we have no freaking clue. Is this the Olympics, the Oscars or The People’s Choice Awards?

Wisely, everyone gangs up on Lay-Cool at first. But that doesn’t last long and neither do some of the lesser Divas like Rosa Mendes and Kaitlyn. The final six are Lay-Cool, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail Kim and Alicia Fox. Layla goes but helps Michelle take out Phoenix. Natalya eliminates Kim and Fox in one move but Michelle kicks her in the face and knocks her out to win her second Diva of the year. I guess if you stroke The Undertaker you benefit from The Undertaker’s stroke. E-GM pipes up to book Lay-Cool versus Natalya and Beth Phoenix at TLC in the first ever Diva’s Tag Team Tables Match. That is actually interesting, pity I won’t get to see it.

Edge is here so we have to be reminded of the stupidity of last week’s Smackdown ending. Seriously, Teddy Long has done nothing to Edge over this? Edge faces Jack Swagger. That means two Smackdown stars have been imported to wrestle each other on RAW. How is this special? Another weakness of the three-hour show. It’s a pretty good match, but the Spear to end it looks a little weak.

Time for WWE Moment of the Year, presented by Big Show.

  • Sheamus attacks Triple H from behind with a lead pipe
  • Edge Spears Chris Jericho through the barricade
  • The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels in Michaels’ final match
  • John Cena counts 1-2-3 as Orton defeats Barrett and Cena is fired from WWE

Rumors were that HBK is here. If true we know what’s going to win. It does win but HBK is only on tape. I want to just ignore the fact I’m being forced to watch David Arquette in a wrestling match. He’s not actually doing anything of course but I do not see the point of this. Half your fanbase are too young to remember when Arquette was champion anyway. Randy wins, natch, but Miz uses the briefcase he has no good reason to still have to take Orton down. Miz and Arquette set up a table Orton recovers, but Miz escapes again and it’s Arquette who goes through the table. Well, that’s something at least. This whole “Miz tries to put Orton through a table but Orton escapes and puts a Miz ally through the table” would have been more effective if they could have started it a week or two earlier and ran with it the whole time. Miz is going to win Sunday, I’m confident in that, but I expect it to be some kind of fluke or tainted win.

Cole is presenting the “And I quote” Moment slammy. There’s no official list of nominees. Just a long string of decent quotes. See if you can find this on YouTube it’s decent. And it ends on Ron Simmons, which is always fun. Cole gives himself the award. Yeah, Cole as a heel is annoying. Teddy Long is the last presenter of the evening, Superstar of the year, as voted on by the fans.

  • Edge
  • Kane
  • Rey Mysterio
  • John Cena
  • Randy Orton
  • The Miz

I guess they couldn’t risk putting The Undertaker up since he’s in no shape to accept. I would have thought Orton was still more over than Cena, but Cena takes the prize. This assumes WWE didn’t just rig the poll, which you never know. Cena’s speech is so white bread it’s not interesting. Cena claims he has taken out every member of Nexus, but Otunga and Barrett. They all seem to be still standing to me. The show is already supposed to be over by the time Otunga finally makes his way to the ring. Barrett turns the tables on Otunga and has Nexus walk out on Otunga. Otunga gets ZERO offense in the short match before tapping to the STF. This was the definition of a squash. Then Cena adds injury to injury by beating Otunga with a chair. At least Otunga can sell.

The Slammys themselves were kind of fun but the rest of the night was nothing special. And selling the PPV wasn’t as much of the focus as it should be on the go home RAW. David Arquette was a dark time in pro wrestling history that should not have been dredged back up in 2010. Three hour shows need to be really special. This didn’t achieve that.

Posts Tagged With pee-wee herman

Lucian WWE Wrestling Recap

Welcome to another week in wrestling. As always, RAW is our first stop on the sports entertainment wagon train. We open with the champion, who we don’t see as often as you’d expect on this show. He wants to know if Cena is going to screw him over so out comes Cena and even he isn’t sure. Cena reiterates if Orton wins Cena is fired and if Barrett wins Cena is free of Nexus. This writing is more nuanced than we often get from Nexus. Orton runs down Cena, Cean runs down Barrett. That draws Nexus. Barrett doesn’t care what Cena says about him. At Survivor Series Cena will do what he says. Cena promises, one way or the other, at Survivor Series he’s beating the hell out of Barrett. Which raises the possibility that Barrett will win and Miz will cash in Money in the Bank. Anonymous GM by email books Barrett and partner of choice versus Orton and partner of choice with John Cena as special guest ref to see how he’s going to act.

Tonight, Pee Wee Herman!

The Hart Dynasty get a shot at the new tag champs, Health Slater and Justin Gabriel. Apparently the Harts have been having trouble on B-show Superstars. Superstars was the C show until NXT couldn’t find one single station in the 500 channel universe willing to air their crap. Here, David Hart Smith gets shoved in the way of Tyson Kidd’s aerial moves allowing Nexus to double team Kidd for the win. 450 Splash as usual for the win. And no R-Truth, you aren’t important enough for John Cena to tell you what he’s going to do.

Here comes Sheamus, who had to job to Santino last week thanks to John Morrison, gets on the microphone first. Sheamus claims Santino didn’t beat him; he beat himself. So Sheamus wants a rematch. Santino is out to make jokes, he’s not dressed to compete. Santino begs off after overdosing on candy. So Vladamir Koslov is lined up as a replacement. Koslov is the kind of guy WWE “creative” thinks the crowd will always buy as a threat so it’s hard to tell if Sheamus is in trouble just because he doesn’t totally crush him. Sheamus goes after Santino after the match and comedy boy tries to bribe him with candy, $3 cash and an Amex. In the end it’s John Morrison who comes to his aid.

Why is R-Truth gossiping to John Cena? This just makes Truth look bad. But it does earn him a spot as Orton’s partner in the main event so I guess he’s not suffering. Mark Henry wants a hug from Pee Wee. That nearly crushes the comeback out of him. We waste time with Divas playing Twister. Woah, Lita is here! The Pee Wee’s Playhouse theme gets old fast when you always here the same snippets of it. Zack Ryder is set to lose to Ezekiel Jackson. Is Jackson a face now? Is Ryder? Or is Ryder simply jobber to all? This here is what you call domination.

Pee Wee introduces tonight’s secret word, ring, which the crowd either doesn’t get or doesn’t care about, until The Miz interrupts. Reilly gets it, Miz does not. Standard Pee Wee shenanigans ensue. Miz threatens Herman and he brings out his “Cousin” the Big Show in a Pee Wee outfit. Show cleans house but E-Gm once again wants to see The Miz versus Big Show. I wonder what cheap excuse they will use to not give us a real match this time? Actually, they don’t. We get a decent match out of these two that ends with Miz clobbering Show with the MitB briefcase and getting DQed.

How about Shut Up For WWE?

Barrett tries to humiliate Cena even further to inspire him to want out. But David Otunga, Wade’s partner for tonight, thinks he’s the biggest thing going. Ted Dibiase loses to Daniel Bryan. He blames his loss on not having his million-dollar belt. I blame it on Bryan being way more over. OMG Jerry Lawler just criticized Goldust marrying Aksana because he was robbing the cradle. Jerry Lawler just criticized someone for robbing the cradle. I have no words.

LayCool may finally have run its course. It’s time to turn Layla on McCool and have them finally fight each other. Michelle faces Natalya tonight with a title shot at Survivor Series on the line. Michelle shows that she will actually do a job once in a while. Her husband has been better at that lately and that’s saying something.

Freddie Prinz Jr. is back on the RAW creative team and he shows up playing a doctor. Apparently Vince McMahon has been in a coma for four months. Not showing up constantly on the campaign trail or anything. The weird thing is he comes out when Dr. Prinz mentions Linda spent 50 million on her campaign. Vince and Prinz are the latest comedy duo as Vince gets filled in on everything wrong in the WWE right now. If it were everything wrong with the WWE we’d need a six hour show. Then they do a Dallas and it’s all a dream in Stephanie McMahon’s mind. Well, that was a colossal waste of time.

Finally we get to the main event, at ten minutes before the hour. I find myself easily distracted from the match itself. Only the occasional uncertainty of what Cena will do makes it interesting and Cena calls it fair. He misses a tag by Orton and R-Truth gets the black beaten off him. Don’t take offense I’m quoting Ernie Ladd. But Cena misses a Barrett tag and Orton RKOing Otunga. That lets R-truth crawl over Otunga for the win.

On Tuesday night Linda McMahon lost her big for senate. So there’s some good news before we have to face the Goldust and Aksana wedding. Kaitlyn has a great dress tonight. In fact, all the rookies are looking more stylish than usual. The pros are dressed up too. I hope this black dress isn’t what Aksana plans to get married in. There are two competitions, an elimination and a match tonight. Since Aksana hasn’t won a competition she’s mathematically eliminated and gets excused to go get ready for her wedding.

Competition one is a kissing contest. The men did it too so I guess it’s not sexist. The kissee is Hornswoggle. Kaitlyn has to get on her knees to get a big kiss. Maxine doesn’t even agree to participate then she’s all mean to Hornswoggle and drives the poor little guy off with hurt feelings. Stepping up to the plate? “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, here for his brother’s wedding. They start over so Kaitlyn has to go twice. Maxine goes. Now Naomi refuses. Woah, AJ goes nuts. I so love her. She wins too!

Cole is in a tuxedo t-shirt and running down the show as usual. Primo remembers how to talk? And was jealous of Cody? They want to talk in private but Dusty Rhodes and the Bellas already have the room occupied. We squeeze in a match between two pros, Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox. It’s short but considering how little I think of the participants it’s not bad. Primo and AJ are still searching backstage only to find Hornswoggle and Maxine making out.

We come to competition #2 and Maxine and Kaitlyn compete despite being eliminated. The contest is really dumb. They have a bunch of boxes and a flag hidden in one. It’s a race. Survivor and The Amazing Race are way more clever that this and even they have lost their charms for me. So this is terrible. At least it’s short as Kaitlyn wins but Naomi ends up with immunity as a result.

Once again searching for privacy Primo and AJ come upon Dolph and Kaitlyn making out. And Vickie sees it. Wow, actual plot development on NXT! Vickie comes charging and ends up with a cake thrown on her. Weddings are like that though. Especially WWE weddings.

Cody and his dad form the wedding party and Hornswoggle is carrying the ring. Goldust is in a tux and carries the million dollar belt. Aksana is in a gold dress. That ducks the wearing white issue. They wrote their own vows with Goldust getting in his catchphrase and Aksana not even succeeding in starting a USA chant. The minister is on Dibiase’s payroll and bails on the wedding. Dibiase feeds Aksana to immigration but will let the wedding go ahead for his title belt. But Dusty has a back up minister. It’s Ted Dibiase Sr. And yes, he is an ordained minister. But why is he selling out his son? Just because the look on his son’s face is priceless. Dusty steals a kiss before his son gets up the nerve. But Aksana slaps her new husband in the face as a heel turn. That could have been far, far worse but was hardly an incredible payoff.

Aksana stalking off is not nearly as impressive since she’s back immediately for the elimination. Maxine, the most obvious pick, is gone tonight Off-script for a change Maxine isn’t as eloquent as she has been previously. Four more episodes and this monstrosity ends.

A good friend has offered to take me to see Survivor Series in a movie theater. It won’t be easy to take notes but I should be able to offer some basic coverage. Let’s see if Smackdown can be as good as RAW.

Posts Tagged With pee-wee herman

The Pit v3 Logo

Hey everyone, welcome to a new edition of The Pit. What is happening in the world of entertainment?

  • Our friends over at 141tv have released a promo video for an upcoming interactive webseries, Ask Joe Guido.  You can check it out here. “Hey… How you doin’?”
  • Scream 4 has started shooting!!! It is really happening, they can’t stop now! Soooo excited. Nancy O’Dell has posted the first picture of Sidney (11 years later) on her twitter. That is not where I thought we’d get our first image from the new flick.
  • Hollywood the Game has entered the final week of it’s simulated Cable TV Session. Check out all of the virtual shows across the three networks. You can read and review them for virtual money!
  • Judd Apatow is teaming up with Pee-Wee Herman for a new movie adventure? That is all sorts of awesome and surprising.
  • The newest Twilight flick Eclipse has broken records with a take of $30 million from midnight showings. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I has a trailer! Excited? How does it look? Leave a comment and let us know!