I like Green Day so Smackdown’s new opening makes me happy. We have an Undertaker stunt double standing on the outside of the Rose Garden in Portland. Smackdown has stolen RAW’s idea of having qualifiers for the Bragging Rights team and the first match is Rey Mysterio versus one half of the tag team champions, Cody Rhodes. You figure the tag champs will want to defend at Bragging Rights and Mysterio should go over anyway. It’s a better match than most of the qualifiers on RAW, despite the predictable ending.

Kaval talks his way into a match with Big Show where, if he lasts five minutes, he can earn a spot on the Bragging Rights team. Apparently we get yet another Kane/Undertake match at Bragging Rights, but they’re actually going to do a Buried Alive match in the PG era. Jack Swagger versus MVP for the third spot is at least hard to predict. More comic antics from the Soaring Eagle, but Swagger gets the anklelock on and MVP taps almost immediately.

Next Alberto Del Rio gets his shot and with Chris Masters as his opponent you know he’s going to qualify easily. It doesn’t help that the announce team, which has Cole again and Big Show sitting in as well, barely mention Masters. The match at Bragging Rights is not elimination, it’s one fall to the finish. Edge also gets a shot at the team and, again, you know he’s going to win even before Dolph Ziggler is announced as his opponent. Kaval actually does last five minutes against Big Show so the team is coming together as well as RAW.  Tyler Reks, a new guy I don’t even remember, comes to challenge Kaval for his spot. Kaval is game, but in rough shape after facing Show and Reks quickly beats him.

Drew McIntyre finally shows up for the last qualifying match and Kofi Kingston is his opponent. Smackdown has had to squeeze in all the same qualifiers RAW had to, but because it’s not padded out with Nexus storyline even this very short match seems better than RAW’s matches. Kingtson gets a clean win. It’s just a pity all these matches have gone the predictable way.

The blowoff of the show is more Kane versus Undertaker promos.  Kane is cutting some nice promos lately, but if you don’t look forward to the match they are going to have to blow it off, what does it matter? Taker doesn’t speak but comes out on top of the fisticuffs for a change then creates magic explosions and the urn gets dropped. There’s no rhyme nor reason to who comes out of these exchanges.

Okay, so over at TNA “They” turned out to be Bischoff, Hogan, and the Jeffs, Hardy and Jarrett. So Bischoff has already trotted out his second good idea ever, turning Hogan heel. I’m so glad I didn’t pay to see that.  Eric also swapped contracts last week and Dixie turned control of the company over to Hogan and Bischoff. They are out to yak at first. He’s Hollywood Hogan again, just in case you weren’t already blindly aware of the derivativeness. And, now that TNA is totally dominated by heels, it’s Fortune who interrupts them… But they end up hugging. The claim is being made Kurt Angle is gone from TNA. Sting and Kevin Nash turn face for a bit of balance, but here’s the problem, this is the culmination of months of story building. It should be a huge deal, but I’m already bored. It doesn’t help that we’re a third of the way into the show and we haven’t had a match!

The knockouts get the first action of the night as Madison Rain demands a rematch with new champion Tara. Madison expects Tara to just lay down and she does. So it wasn’t a match after all. This ticks off Mickie James. There’s someone from Jersey Shore here tonight, but that’s best ignored.

Kurt is supposed to retire, but he’s not sure he should after getting screwed. That draws Jeff Jarrett. Their back and forth is pretty good, but it’s still not a match. With security’s help Jarrett gets Kurt handcuffed then slams his head into the stage. This actually draws the ire of Tazz who backs them off. Kurt’s neck is supposed to have been injured yet again so they’re playing up how Kurt could be really hurt. Samoa Joe’s mad at Jarrett too. Now more than halfway through we get a real match as Abyss takes on Joe. Even this match is ridiculously short as Abyss hits Joe with the ring bell for a disqualification. RVD has to chase Abyss off after the match. RVD wants Jeff Hardy, but Bishoff decides he has to face Mr. Anderson tonight for the shot.

The Pope has to face Fortune since he’s been friendly with Nash and Sting. Another joke of a match which leaves the main event as the only real match of the night. Those of you with DVRs had better have learned by now you need to record Reaction to see the end of this show, but even this match ends in a Jeff Hardy run in and inconclusively. TNA is trying so hard to be something special and it’s not working.

An odd week. Lots of matches, but only a few of them are actually good. RAW has the more compelling storylines, but worse wrestling, while Smackdown has action but the Kane/Taker feud is interminable.  NXT is just annoying and TNA can’t do anything right. There never seems to be a week where everybody is firing on all cylinders. It would be nice if it ever happened.

Smackdown is still on Syfy. Tonight Rey Mysterio Jr returns to the ring for revenge against Albert Del Rio. Edge is already in the new opening. I didn’t see CM Punk though so maybe he was the one traded to RAW. Teddy Long is here to officially introduce Edge. Edge is friendly with Long so I guess the face turn is in full effect. Oh lord, Michael Cole is here. Cue Jack Swagger to interrupt, accompanied by the Swagger Soaring Eagle! Funny bit. We go straight into a match. The eagle gets Speared off the apron which is always entertaining. This is a good match with Edge picking up the win in a solid piece of booking.

Cody Rhodes is teaching us to brush our teeth now? Yep, this is making me hate him. Layla wrestles Kelly Kelly. Natalya is with Kelly at ringside. Whatever happened to Tiffany? Oh… wait… I don’t care. Layla needs help to win which is a problem since she’s never going to get over on her own until this group splits up. And it’s still too soon for that.

The Big Show just jogged to the ring. His conditioning sure has improved. I wonder if he quit smoking. Show has a movie to plug. Show is team captain for Smackdown at Bragging Rights. And he names Hornswoggle as team mascot. Glee. And, because this is going so well, here come the Dudebusters to audition. Show, like the WWE Universe, doesn’t know who they are. It sucks. Show Chokeslams both of them.

Can’t we have the tag champs enter together? And why are the champs coming out first again? Do I harp on that too much? Drew McIntyre and Cody Rhodes face Kaval and Kofi Kingston. On a bad day I outweigh Kaval. The champs get the win, which make sense, but leaves Kaval still without a win since debuting on Smackdown.

Paul Bearer is as good on the microphone as he has always been. Pity Kane and Taker aren’t as good in the ring as they always were. Kane cuts another serviceable promo, but what’s with the weird organ music stings? I am not pleased we have to endure more Kane/Undertaker matches. Especially since this will probably go all the way to Survivor Series.

Time for Dolph Ziggler versus MVP for the Intercontinental Championship. WWE brass seem to take this show a lot more seriously now that it is on SyFy compared to when it was on MyNetwork TV. Or are we just in the honeymoon phase? There seems to be trouble between Vickie Guererro and Dolph over NXT storylines. Vickie walks away so we actually see if Dolph can win on his own. Except Katlyn from NXT shows up and interferes to give Dolph the win. Ziggle is getting better, except the Zig Zag seems to look worse every time he hits it. Maybe it needs to be replaced.

The three men announce team of Striker, Grisham and Cole is actually less annoying than Striker, Cole and Lawler. And Josh Matthews is here too, interviewing Alberto Del Rio. The Essence of Excellence is not a bad moniker. Mysterio dominates early on. It’s actually a bit much. Rey may be passed his prime, but the pair put on a fine match here. When Del Rio’s ring announcer tries to interfere he and Del Rio collide which sets up the 619, then a Flying Splash for the victory. I’m a little surprised he got the win here, but it wasn’t entirely conclusive so the feud will probably continue.

TNA was live this week. Abyss abducts Dixie Carter and only Eric Bischoff comes to her aid. This actually looks like it’s enough to get Abyss fired. It certainly seems like Abyss was trying to get fired. Like, Office Space trying. RVD threatens to walk if he doesn’t get his match to settle things with Abyss. So win, lose or draw Abyss is fired on the 11th.

The Hogan bad idea has been abandoned. He is not going to be able to wrestle at Bound for Glory. Oh look, Mickie James is here. She’ll be guest referee for the fourway at Bound for Glory. Oh crap, Team 3D is coming back.

Ric Flair faces Mick Foley in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. Less than a minute in and Foley is opened up. About another minute and there goes Flair. TNA wrestling with blood because we’re not aiming for 12 year olds. That said they are blanking out the profanity from the crowd. Flair can still deliver a garbage match and these two give it their all so I’m quite pleased with the results. In the end they both go through a table but Foley pulls himself up with the ropes while Flair almost gets up, then does a patented Flair Flop into thumbtacks. That means Flair has to kiss Foley’s ass. We get a Fortune attack to prevent that. I think I’m glad. EV 2.0 make the save and we see no brawl. Smart to tease a bit rather than give too much away before Sunday.

We finish with what essentially amounts to a Royal Rumble with forty-five second entrance intervals. We’re up to 19 guys in before there is an elimination, but #19 is Abyss. He throws about seven guys out before everyone piles on him. They break his momentum, but for no good reason, don’t eliminate him and go back to fighting amongst themselves. It comes down to Abyss, Anderson and Angle until, long after the last competitor entered, RVD decides to show up. RVD takes out Abyss and himself at the same time. That leaves Angle to eliminate Anderson and win $100,000. So is Angle winning the championship Sunday or is he going to surprise us all and return to WWE? I won’t be watching to find out.

A good week in wrestling, as far as I’m concerned, with Smackdown having the best in-ring action. I hope those of you buying Bound for Glory enjoy it. I look forward to reading someone else’s recap. Happy Columbus Day/Canadian Thanksgiving to those in North America. It’s my birthday as I type this so I’m off to visit family. But I should be caught up by NXT next week and you’ll see the next column as usual.