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Lucian WWE Wrestling Recap

So John Cena is a member of Nexus. What does this mean for the WWE? Well Nexus is opening the show, but no Cena yet. Wade Barrett reveals the mystery men from last night. NXT season two rookies Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicuddy. Barrett feigns ignorance of why they interfered. Barrett is unhappy with the troops for risking the match by coming to ringside. But, more important, it’s time to bring out Cena. Cena is still in his merchandise and he looks like a kicked puppy. Tarver is not happy with Cena. Cena has to don the armband. He also has to read an official statement.

Cena gets a match as a Nexus member as he must choose a partner to face Mark Henry and Evan Bourne. Cena picks Tarver. The match is now. Cena starts and offers a handshake to Bourne. Tarver isn’t pleased with this so Cena tags out. From there, Cena leaves Tarver to the wolves. He always manages to stay just out of tag range and Bourne and Henry pick up the win. Sure, there’s extenuating circumstances, but Evan Bourne and Mark Henry just beat John Cena.

Cena has his own statement to make. He plan to bring Nexus down from within; to be Nexus and against us. He beats down, then STFs Tarver to the extreme. Just when I’m starting to get P.O.ed that Cena is just ignoring the stipulation the anonymous General Manager (E-GM) gives his opinion. Cena agreed to join Nexus. Nexus listens to Wade Barrett. So Cena must listen to Barrett or he will be fired. Poor Cena.

John Cena can’t conceive of life without the WWE. I guess he doesn’t think he can make it as an actor. He spots McGuillicuddy and Harris and chases them, right into the Nexus dressing room. Wade Barrett has big plan for Cena. Barrett is pleased Cena took out Tarver as he’s been planning to get rid of him now. They just keep kicking out the black guys. Barrett tells Cena to make sure he wins the Battle Royal.

Alicia Fox fights Natalya Neidhart, but it barely gets started before Natalya locks on the Sharpshooter and gets an easy win. We call that a squash match. Daniel Bryan faces Sheamus and, again, it’s over before it starts. This time Sheamus attacks in the ropes and refuses to break so he gets disqualified. Bryan ends up out cold.

The guest star, no longer host but star, is Johnny Knoxville of Jackass 3D. He hits Zack Ryder with the big high five hand you might have seen in the commercials. Maryse thinks he’s the stalker. A jealous Dibiase falls victim to the giant hand as well. Maryse throws her shoes at Knoxville. When did throwing shoes become a go to wrestling move? The big hand swats Maryse too. Later, Knoxville comes out to plug his movie and he’s not fast enough to escape Dibiase and Maryse returning. I think Dibiase has new music. Knoxville joins the long line of non-wrestlers that WWE hypocritically uses in action. The stalker is revealed. It’s Goldust. He doesn’t want Teddy. He doesn’t want Maryse either. He’s been stalking the million dollar title. Nice to see that title as more than a prop. And nice to see Goldust being more strange than goofy. He works better that way.

The E-GM has demanded an apology from Edge. No more electronic voice. We’re back to Cole as mouthpiece. Hard to say which is more annoying. Edge is not apologizing. He’s still on his quest against all things stupid. That includes the E-GM and Michael Cole. Another email informs us there will be a twenty man over-the-top-rope Battle Royal for the title shot at Bragging Rights. And Edge isn’t in it because (as widely predicted) Edge has been traded to Smackdown. He’s pleased as punch. He’s getting away from them. Cole gets indignant and Edge threatens to beat him up. That draws The Miz and Alex Reilly, to protect Miz’s #1 fan. They trade some barbs then some blows. Edge takes down both of them and Reilly eats a Spear. Miz gets the last laugh as he surprises Edge with a Skull Crushing Finale.

LayCool are miced for their match with the Bella Twins and it’s annoying, but the Bellas pull the switcheroo and actually score an upset. Weird booking. Again it’s a ridiculously short match. The Battle Royal better be really long.

Say what you will about WWE, but they do good work with the Make a Wish Foundation.

Otunga tries to buddy up with Cena before the main event. They let us know Chris Jericho is “out indefinitely” after his punt to the head by Randy Orton. Evan Bourne’s good luck doesn’t last long as he’s out of the main event almost immediately. Darren Young is in this. Just cut the guy already. Mark Henry gets to look strong, but Cena stops him from eliminating Barrett. The rest of Nexus gang up to take the biggest dog in the yard out from there. When Nexus complains Cena didn’t help Cena tosses Otunga. Barrett ain’t pleased, but he told Cena to be sure he won. He said nothing about the rest of Nexus.

It’s a chaotic match with a lot of people lasting a long time. It’s a good length match too which helps make up for the rest of the show’s matches. The WWE guys lack any cohesion against Nexus, for no good reason other than the story calls for it. The final four are Barrett, Cena, Morrison and Sheamus. Barrett eliminates Morrison. Sheamus Brigue Kicks right over the ropes to the apron and Cena knocks him off. Barrett tells Cena to eliminate himself. I wish they were consistent on the ability to eliminate yourself or not in these matches. There’s a long tease with Cena not willing to comply, but he has to in the end. At last we see the champion as Randy Orton comes out to have a little staredown with the new #1 contender.

The Cena/Nexus storyline took up a lot of the show tonight. Most everything else got the short end of the stick as a result. Yet there was time for Dibiase, Maryse and Goldust. Who does RAW get for Edge anyway? Because with Edge and Jericho gone RAW is less Canadian and awesome at the same time.

NXT is no longer on in the US except online. I don’t know if that means I should be more detailed in my recaps or ignore the show completely. Well, there’s an elimination this week so that’s something. AJ currently leads with 3 competitions won. Aksana and Maxine have none so they have no shot. The others can tie or win by taking two competitions tonight. The first is a mechanical bull riding competition. This is at least good eye candy, especially when the Bella Twins give the initial demonstration by double riding the bull. Aksana wins, which seems counterproductive as it takes away some of the tension of having people have a shot. Since they never announced what happens in a tie I’m betting AJ is winning immunity. Hopefully she has the geek vote and doesn’t need it.

Aksana is busy as she goes right into a match against Maxine. Yes, an actual match on NXT season 3. It’s neither long nor good and ends with a roll-up countering a roll-up. Decidedly lame. I only realized this week just how much they are scraping the bottom of the barrel for pros this time around. Primo? Goldust? Vickie Guererro (who faces Katlyn tonight)? Alicia Fox?!

Competition #2 is a talent show. Aksana does push-ups. Naomi raps, badly. AJ’s talent is flexibility, which is sexier than I expected from her. Jamie’s talent is turning men on. She demonstrates on Matt Striker, even planting a big kiss on him. Yet this is less sexy than AJ. Katlyn uses an easel and marker to draw a terrible stick figure of Vickie. Imbecile Matt Cole spoils it in advance. Please let AJ win this competition and the whole damn thing. Oh wait, Maxine still has to go. It involves Hornswoggle so I’d rather just ignore it. It also involves pies in the face. Lemon meringue, the perfect pie for a brunette. Katlyn wins but that means she’s tied with AJ. It goes to the crowd and Katlyn is the fan favorite overall.

Goldust still has the million dollar championship in his possession as the fake immigration guy shows up. This is a train wreck and I doubt it will bring Aksana any sympathy votes. It may even backfire. Anyway the Katlyn vs. Vickie match is a joke and, of course, Katlyn wins. Anyway, it’s Jamie who gets the boot. Many thought Maxine was a lock but it’s Jamie. Bye bye Jamie.

This show was miles better than last week’s but that doesn’t say much. Still, they are putting effort into it for now. The Jamie/Vickie match was terrible but the video promo leading up to it was stellar. It made me care until the bell rang. In fact, we see signs of coherent storylines all over the place. Cena and Nexus, Edge vs. stupid, Goldust and the million dollar belt. I have to say WWE is doing better lately. We’ll see if Kane and the Undertaker can screw it up on Friday.

Click here to check out part 1 of the Hell in a Cell 2010 recap!

David Otunga thinks he has a way they can help Wade without getting disqualified. David Otunga has a plan? Unless it involves marrying up I trust it about as much as Acme merchandise. That match is now? Isn’t there a Divas match still to come? They are putting that on after this? Did you know Nexus have beat up a lot of people? They tend to highlight the old guys they’ve beat down. Will John Cena join Nexus? Or is Nexus done forever?

Hell in a Cell, John CenaMatt Striker has decided he approves of Nexus now. The other two, rightly, point out Nexus beat the crap out of him. I guess it’s Stockholm Syndrome. Nexus shows up early and Barrett is not happy about it. Nexus can’t so much as touch Cena so I see no point to them coming out. In the end it doesn’t matter as Big Show leads about a dozen superstars from both brands, mostly faces but Dolph Ziggler is there, and Nexus is sent packing. Barrett is still pretty limited but at least he has a moveset of power moves instead of pure brawling. Striker claims kids and girls are cheering for Cena while the guys are cheering for Barrett. I doubt it’s that simple but there are certainly people so anti-Cena they are cheering Nexus.

Cena actually climbs the top turnbuckle looking for his Flying Legdrop but he and Barrett wind up in a contest of strength on the corner ropes. Cena comes out ahead with a Headbutt and hits the Legdrop after all. Only a two-count results. Cena sets up for the Attitude Adjustment only to be countered into Wasteland. It looks over but, somehow, Cena kicks out. Next comes an AA but now Barrett kicks out. This is dramatic at least. Cena tries the STF as Cole screams “Tap out!” over and over again. A mystery man in street clothes runs in, but gets stopped by security and the ref, only to have another mystery man attack Cena with a foreign object. Barrett capitalizes for the pin. So there you have it, John Cena must join Nexus and at least two other people have arrived with a stake in the outcome. Once again, a long enough match that was just fine, especially considering the people involved. A lot of time gets wasted as a forlorn Cena leaves the ring slower than the Big Show.

Josh Matthews interviews Paul Bearer. He’s been waiting six years and he’s developed a master plan in that time. And that plan involves reuniting with a man who tried to drown him in concrete?

The Divas match between Michelle McCool and Natalya Neidhart is the worst match on the card so far but it’s still not bad. Natalya gets a Sharpshooter locked on but Layla throws a shoe (nice Austin Powers reference by Striker) at her to draw a DQ. Michelle taps seconds later but the title doesn’t change hands on a DQ. Short but not too short.

And now the main event. This match has tons of history, since we’ve already seen it several times before depending how long and when exactly we were watching. The video, however, only talks about the first feud and the recent one. The return of Paul Bearer and the urn evokes supernatural elements of this feud that are out of place in modern wrestling, especially when neutered to PG level.

Paul Bearer stays outside the cage, but Kane attacks before the bell and they brawl on the outside at first. The cell and a chair are brought into play before the bell even rings. Trivia buffs, the cage weighs five tons. Ring steps again? Kane hurts his brother’s ankle early on so Taker hardly seems superhuman again. The ankle messes up Taker’s first attempt at Old School. Kane does get a small cut on the top of his head so we see a bit of color after all. Kane barely escapes Hell’s Gate. There is no dissention in the crowd; they are firmly behind the Undertaker.

Hell in a CellThey do a double Zombie up and each competitor gets in a Chokeslam. But it’s not enough to end it. A Last Ride isn’t even enough to stop Kane. Kane lands a Tombstone Piledriver and steals his brother’s rest in peace pose, but Taker kicks out. A frustrated Kane punches out the referee. The cell is opened to allow a new ref in and the old one out. That lets Paul Bearer slip inside the cell. Kane goes after Paul Bearer in a chase that makes OJ’s Bronco look speedy. All this does is give Undertaker time to recover. A Chokeslam follows and Taker gets theatrical. He culminates in the cut throat gesture and the lightning starts up.

Okay, this is real. When the lights go low for the lightning Paul Bearer opens the urn and bright light shines out blinds Taker. Then Paul Bearer hands the urn over to Kane. Kane clobbers his brother with it. One more Chokeslam and Kane retains the championship in what I have to call a surprise.

So how did the show fare overall? There were no bad matches, most of them were pretty good. With a two hour and forty-three minute runtime it was of sufficient length. But the two Hell in a Cell matches did not live up to the hype. They are never going to give us the spectacular bloody scenes we remember from the past. Also, Hell in a Cell is better when it’s a surprise, not a regular occurrence. I sincerely hope we don’t repeat this PPV next year. This may be the last PPV I can afford for a while. Having seen this one I might have been better off waiting and buying Bragging Rights or Survivor Series.

Posted on October 6th, 2010 by Lucian | Leave a Comment
Filed Under Entertainment

Hell in a Cell 2010Hell in a Cell. It has provided some of the greatest moments in WWE history… But this is the PG era. Can a PG Hell in the Cell live up to the bloodier brawls of the past? The opening promo wants us to believe Hell in a Cell is a demonic, possibly even sentient construct. It’s a brand new cell and it’s certainly big. But it seems cleaner, less rough around the edges. Like it wouldn’t hurt that much to hit it. I guess they wanted to reduce the odds of unintentional cuts since it would be weird to stop a Hell in a Cell match to patch a cut.

Our opening contest is a Triple Threat Submission match for the United States Championship. John Morrison comes out first and there’s no sign of a heel turn as he gives his sunglasses to a small child in the audience. The champion comes out next, which is still wrong. Miz is last so he can get on the mic before the match. Well, no point in having Miz on a PPV and not letting him talk. Miz claims to have been the mentor of both of them. Without him they’d be nobodies. Without them he’s still be a star because he has the “It factor.” The last guy who claimed that was David Otunga. That’s not good company to be in.

The match features very little in the way of alliances. If you like submission wrestling this is a great match. These guys bust out some old school moves. The problem is Striker calls everything as a “variation” of a move. I think Matt Striker even refers to one as the Haas of Pain. Didn’t think Charlie Haas would get a shout out from WWE any time soon. It’s also nice that everyone involved remembers if there are no disqualifications there are no rope breaks. Bryan busts out Cattle Mutilation which leads more annoying banter from the three-man announce team of Cole, Striker and the King. I keep trying to hear what they call John Morrison’s training technique. Wikipedia is no help but it sounds like “harcore.”

They fight all over the arena and use the arena environment to their advantage. At one point Miz locks a hold on Morrison while Morrison is threaded through the metal railing on the steps. The action eventually winds up near the entrance ramp. Miz uses a rolling stagehand’s equipment box, the same type they always use at the end of NXT obstacle courses. Bryan tries for the LaBell lock at every opportunity. Miz hits a Skull Crushing Finale on Morrison to the concrete floor. A DDT on the floor once took people out for months. Now people shrug off finishers on the outside. Who says people were tougher in the old days?

Morrison Spidermans the lighting grid onto the decorative cell wall beside the entrance ramp. The Splash he hits on both men from about twelve feet in the air prompts a “That was awesome” chant from the crowd. Morrison traps Miz in a Texas Cloverleaf a Dean Malenko shout out! But Miz’s apprentice, Alex Reilly, runs out and takes Morrison out.  That opens up Bryan to lock the LaBell lock on The Miz on the entrance ramp. Miz holds out longer than you’d expect, but taps out to give Bryan the title. Alex Cole finally admits that Daniel Bryan is for real, but he still thinks he’s a nerd. Absolutely awesome opener. Fired up the crowd and gave them something to pop for.

I don’t want to see Legendary. Screw off.

Next up we go into a Hell in a Cell already as Sheamus and Randy Orton lock up for the WWE Championship. As I feared, the cell really isn’t menacing anymore. It looks pliant and clean-edged. I’ve seen baseball diamonds I’d be more scared to be thrown into. To make up for it the pair has to use both ring steps as weapons. That ramps up the macho factor a little. But mostly the match is a long running brawl, which I consider the most boring style of wrestling. Orton takes damage to the ribs early on and it becomes the story of the match. Sheamus exposes a turnbuckle but, as is often the case, it comes back to bite him in the arm. At the end Sheamus brings the ring steps into the ring and it backfires again. Orton Scoop Slams him onto the steps. That’s only good enough for a two. Sheamus finally succeeds in using a weapon as he whacks Orton a few times with a steel chair.

Orton finally hits his RKO, but Sheamus manages to roll out of the ring. Sheamus dodges the punt and hits another Brogue Kick but, again, outside the ring. He gets two but, in the end, Mr. Orton delivers his initials onto the steel steps. 1… 2… 3! Orton retains. This was an okay match, especially for second on the card, but it really didn’t need to be a Hell in a Cell match. The ring steps and exposed turnbuckle mattered more than the cell. This could have been an No-Disqualification match and worked just as well. Do we need to have two Hell in a Cell matches on one show? Even if the show is called Hell in a Cell? Sheamus has become a credible main eventer and Orton is mad over. Pity they drew the short straw of importance on this Pay Per View. Orton delivers a better spot after the match when he climbs the outside of the cell, about twenty feet up, and parades the title on top of the steel structure.

Keep your useless NXT Divas off my PPV. NXT scares them off. Is this supposed to be a face turn. We’re reminded that if the other members of Nexus get involved in any way Cena wins.

Did you think Alberto Del Rio wouldn’t be on the PPV? Here comes the Mexican JBL right now. Jerry Lawler used to at least be a dirty old man. Now he just makes weak puns. Del Rio runs down Mysterio and Christian so it’s odd that it’s Edge who interrupts. Rumors are going around that Edge is not only turning face again but going to Smackdown to bolster it after the SyFy move. Edge isn’t the best face, but Smackdown does need a new on at the main event level. Edge continues his campaign against stupidity. A Chihuahua in a mask? Stupid. A scarf the size of a blanket? Stupid. Don’t tell Tom Baker that! The little wink? Stupid. Edge is still acting like a heel. Than again so is Randy Orton and they cheer him. Edge does seem to be getting some face heat here.

Just when we are about to get a fight Jack Swagger shows up. He’s mad at Edge over Spearing his Eagle mascot. Swagger has to point out it’s a real person inside that suit and demand Edge pay his medical bills. Edge gets brave but Del Rio ambushes him and Swagger attack. The E-GM ping goes off and the anonymous General Manager’s new computer tells Michael Cole that Edge will apologize tomorrow on RAW. And face Jack Swagger right now. Impromptu match!

Edge starts hurt so he’s at the disadvantage throughout. Again, face style booking. It’s odd but after two gimmick matches in a row it’s already odd to see things like rope breaks and count outs again. Swagger eventually gets the Ankle Lock cinched in. I hate when a wrestler grabs the rope, then gets pulled off, and the ref doesn’t still force a break. Edge rolls through the ankle lock anyway and hits a Spear for a win! So far tonight all the matches have been given plenty of time and none of them have been bad.

Click here to read Part 2 of the Hell in a Cell 2010 recap!

Wrestling Recaps

Smackdown arrives on SyFy with a brand new opening theme and sequence. It’s actually a big improvement. The big show kicks off with Dolph Ziggler defending his title against MVP. Not exactly big name superstars to open with. Let’s hope the match is solid… It’s not. It is all a set-up for Nexus, minus Wade Barrett, to attack. Ziggler takes the initial attack leaving MVP alone in the ring. They do the surround and attack move, then beat MVP down for Gabriel’s 450 Splash. Big Show finally shows up. I know he was slow, but he was no help to MVP. And even a giant falls to a four on one assault. You know what that means, it’s time for John Cena. Maybe if people stopped coming out one at a time they’d have a better chance. Nexus is busy beating down Cena when Big Show returns with a steel chair and drives them off. Barrett is on TitanTron. He’s just here to recap the stipulations of the match on Sunday. Apparently, he’s a friend of the network head so he gets to pick matches. Nexus vs. Big Show five-on-one and John Cena versus Kane. And here I thought they might be putting the early focus on actual wrestling.

Oh great, Michael Cole is here. We have an Undertaker/CM Punk match tonight. We get an 8-Diva tag match. There’s a few decent moves, but Hornswoggle shows up to mess with LayCool so it’s hard to take the match seriously. WWE is actually plugging Mick Foley’s new book despite Foley being with TNA now. We’re in Oklahoma so Jack Swagger gets to celebrate homecoming. He’s got a guy in an Eagle mascot costume with him. I wonder if that is an enemy in disguise. He’s upset he didn’t get a parade. So, he’s moved to Texas. Instead of the eagle betraying Swagger, Edge shows up. Edge is on a campaign against stupidity in wrestling. He’s Don Quixote now? Edge decks the eagle and Swagger runs off. That leaves Edge to Spear the eagle. Is he supposed to be a face here or what?

Sick of Nexus? Tough. They are lumberjacks for Cena’s match later tonight. Their match with Show is quick. Since four of them beat down Show earlier why would he have a chance against five? As is, once they get Show off his feet, each Nexus member locks a hold on one limb, except Barrett who puts a choke hold on Show’s neck. Show passes out quickly and gets two post match 450 splashes.

Undertaker is looking more Old School in costuming as Paul Bearer and the urn join him for his match with CM Punk. It’s the best match of the night so far, but that’s not saying much. Undertaker wins, of course, with a Tombstone Piledriver. Next up is Alberto Del Rio, still as awesome as ever. He promises Rey Mysterio and his personal ring announcer brings out a Chihuahua in a mask. Cute dog. It even has a brace on one paw. Then it’s time for the real Rey to return. Rey tries to 619 Del Rio, but the ring announcer gets involved again. That let’s Del Rio escape. Rey takes his frustrations out on poor Ricardo. That’s twice now that non-wrestlers have taken beatings. Remember, don’t try this at home.

Randy Orton is here tonight too. He faces his old pupil, Cody Rhodes. The match has barely started when Orton lands his RKO finisher, only to be attacked by Sheamus. The beating lasts longer than the match and we have yet to have one good match all night. Even the main event isn’t given much time and it also ends inconclusively when the lumberjacks attack and Undertaker appears to attack Kane. The final focus is on the brawl through the stands between the two “brothers”. Taker comes out on top, with the urn motivating him. Will that give him the title Sunday? I think so.

TNA again has a problem with split focus. Sure, they’re pushing Bound for Glory, but now they have a big live show three days before it and they’re trying to push that just as hard. So, at that show, we’re going to see Ric Flair versus Mick Foley in a Last Man Standing Match. It’s WCW all over again. Giving away money matches for free. Their promo is awesome, but it’s nothing new. These two already had their long running feud out in WWE. Just like ECW had a revival already in WWE. TNA always striving for new things to copy.

Tonight Kurt Angle faces Abyss in a Steel Cage. The Pope, Kevin Nash and Sting continue to complain about WCW. So, at Bound for Glory, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe and Hulk Hogan will face Sting, Nash and Dinero. Hulk Hogan, who is recovering from back surgery, which they have admitted on camera, is supposed to step in the ring in ten days?! Do they really think anyone is going to pay to see that? Tommy Dreamer actually scores a pinfall as he and Rhino beat Beer Money. Jay Lethal and Amazing Red traded the X Division title back and forth at some house shows; but other than mentioning it and a few still shots neither one is actually on the show. Has the X title been reduced to Xplosion fodder?

Generation Me beat Ink Inc, but the Tag champs get Chris Sabin’s stolen title back from the #1 contenders. We tease more troubles in the top ranks, as an off-screen, unheard phone call from Hogan shows he’s behind Angle while Eric Bischoff likes Ken Anderson. Where the heck is Jeff Hardy tonight? Is he selling the Abyss beating? Kurt bleeds a bucket in the main event and carries Abyss to a decent match for a change. We carry on to Reaction yet again as Kurt teases a Moonsault off the top of the cage, but doesn’t deliver. That’s probably for the best. Abyss takes Angle out but the ref goes down in the process. Ken Anderson comes to Kurt’s rescue. Abyss takes him down too, rips the cage door clean off and goes for Janice. Kurt recovers and manages to take it (her?) from him. The ref never recovers, we don’t get a winner and we just go off the air with Kurt standing there holding Janice. Lousy ending people. You have to watch a lot of Reaction to see that Kurt refuses to shake Ken Anderson’s hand after the show.

Also on for next week is a Battle Royal including every man on the Bound For Glory card. That’s twenty-five men. And the prize? $100,000. Nice to see inflation hasn’t driven wrestling prizes up too high in the face of the global economic downturn. By now, next week’s show looks almost as interesting as the PPV and I don’t have to pay for it. So what inspires me to spend money on the second show when I’ve already had my weekly fill with the free one?

So what’s the verdict for the week? Nothing terrible happened, but I feel like nothing great happened either. TNA had the better wrestling while WWE did a better job building to their PPV. So a mixed bag of a week. Will Hell in a Cell be worth paying for? I haven’t decided yet.

Lucians Wrestling Recap

We’ve had a very short build up to “Hell in a Cell” and we’re already in the home stretch. We open with The Miz and Alex Reilly. Daniel Bryan has challenged them to a tag match. Miz says every Monday night Daniel Bryan gets a beat down. He comes out, to Flight of the Valkyries again, and reveals his partner, John Morrison. We go straight to the match. Reilly is still pretty limited, but he holds his own here. The match isn’t long enough to warrant a commercial break and Miz gets a clean win on Bryan with a Skull Crushing Finale. What’s interesting is a brawl breaks out and Bryan and Morrison end up going after each other as well as Miz and Reilly. The anonymous General Manager speaks through his mouthpiece Michael Cole to announce a Triple Threat for the US Title between Bryan, Miz and Morrison in a new Submissions Count Anywhere match.

We get a women’s Battle Royale to determine a #1 contender with LayCool on commentary. LayCool are getting repetitive and annoying again after their brief stint of being entertaining while they were on NXT. The good news is Natalya wins this match so at least she’s getting pushed more than her male Hart Dynasty compatriots. Maryse and/or Ted Dibiase still have a stalker, but he or she promises something happens next week.

Sheamus gives us a lesson in Irish folklore then issues an open challenge. The Great Khali, arguably the worst wrestler on the roster, answers the call. Unable to manhandle his opponent Sheamus is reduced to strikes before he quickly gets disqualified for throwing an announce chair on Khali. Sheamus’s pale white chest is marked with a huge red handprint from Khali’s chop, but the Irishman comes out on top of the post match beat down.

Somehow, Edge is going to interview the GM on his talk show segment The Cutting Edge. E-GM uses a bad computer voice. It’s a terrible segment best ignored, but it sets up Edge to face John Cena. It’s a decent little match and Edge spears Cena for the win. The E-GM rightfully points out Cena’s foot was under the bottom rope and restarts the match. Of course, Cena wins this time. Edge goes 2001 on the talking laptop and destroys it.

Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel barely beat Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. So their stock looks to be dropping. Or course all five of Nexus beat them down afterwards. The GM has ruled if the rest of Nexus interfere in the match at HiaC then Cena automatically wins and Nexus is disbanded. Nexus plans to invade Smackdown on Friday. So the WWE bigwigs think Nexus will draw viewers to the SyFy premiere… yet they still plan to break up the group? Ah, Cena is going too. That makes more sense.

The tag champs, the chosen one Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes, and the Hart Dynasty mix it up again, in another title match. It’s a short match and the Harts get buried again. Now they’re teasing a break up.

Our main event is Chris Jericho versus Randy Orton. This seems like such a forgone conclusion I’m tempted to just go to bed early. Jericho starts off on the stick. He’s giving a lengthy and impressive list of people he’s beaten that has to be cut off by a commercial. He’s still going after the commercial, remember this is live, and he’s even naming TNA guys! Funaki was in there! Orton finally interrupts them and Cole points out this is their first one-on-one match in the history of RAW. It ends up being a pretty good match, but it’s ultimately meaningless as Sheamus interferes and gives Orton the DQ win. Orton sets up Sheamus for the punt to the head, but Jericho ambushes Orton with a Codebreaker. Jericho goes for a chair and that gives Orton time to recover and RKO Jericho. The crowd are chanting “Punt!” That’s the coolest thing a crowd has done in a long time. Orton doesn’t let them down as he delivers one hell of a kick to Jericho’s head. Did he just knock him off contract?

Word has come down that NXT is to become a web only show. In other words WWE couldn’t find a single TV network willing to pick it up. In the 500 channel universe that’s sad. However, the show will continue to air outside the US. That includes Canada, lucky me. So I’ll be recapping the remaining episodes of this season, but I don’t see any chance of there being another.

They have a wheelbarrow race as the first challenge. Just in case that didn’t suck enough, Hornswoggle shows up to be the passenger. Kaytln wins. You can tell there’s a PPV Sunday because this show is packed with recaps. We’re at the three quarters mark and we’ve had no matches and one challenge. We’re ending with a challenge, called Dis the Diva, which means no matches. Seriously, no matches? The last time this show will be on US TV and they show no matches? Was there any doubt this show is considered a joke now? AJ wins. AJ at least has a likable character but she has the chest of a 10-year old so I don’t see WWE letting her win.

The live Smackdown better be good. Because I was set to get the PPV and now I’m having second thoughts…

Wrestling Recap, The Undertaker

Kane actually beat The Undertaker at Night of Champions. He opens Smackdown facing Chris Masters. Even the announcers don’t give Masters much of a chance, but Masters gets to use the once unbreakable Master Lock only to have Kane escape. Masters gets a lot of offense, maybe too much. Kane used Taker’s cutting the throat pose and finishes with the Tombstone, which apparently is Undertaker’s move despite Kane using it throughout his career. Aren’t half of Kane’s moves copies of the Undertaker already? Kane cuts a promo in the expensive seats enjoying the fear he is causing. He has a proposal he won’t let his brother refuse.

The new tag champs have to defend their titles. The challengers are supposed to be a surprise which barely excuses the champions entering first… And it’s just the Hart Dynasty anyway. It’s a decent enough match and the champions need an exposed turnbuckle to win so the Harts aren’t totally buried.

Oh no, Taker is wracked with self-doubt. He’s brooding. Come and see the brooding inherent in the system.

Alberto Del Rio attacked Christian, off camera. Alberto Del Rio lets us know Rey Mysterio will be back next week and they have a match. Christian tries to get revenge but Del Rio savages his arm just like he did to Mysterio. The Straight Edge Society is done but when CM Punk tries to rub it in to Luke Gallows’ face the big man finally turns on him. Punk dominates which does nothing for either man. Kaval gets a second match, this one against Chavo Guererro. Chavo wins. Chavo never wins. So where is the faith in NXT season 2 winner Kaval? Nowhere to be found.

Big Show faces the often forgotten tag team of Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins. When you have the man advantage and you still lose your career is not where it should be. There’s a Dolph Ziggler / MVP match where far too much attention is on Vickie and her NXT rookie. Ziggler again takes a count out to retain his championship (a tactic that gets old fast).

Kane is out to, predictably, challenge Taker to Hell in a Cell, but the rarely seen druids make a return with a coffin. When Kane opens the coffin it reveals Paul Bearer! Taker’s old manager is back, along with the urn, and then so is Taker. It’s like the old days except everyone involved has aged severely. Taker’s newfound strength lets him drive off Kane, then Undertaker and Bearer do their old school pose. It was a nice bit of fan service and it allows Undertaker a storyline reason to suddenly return to full strength. Let’s hope the feud ends at Hell in a Cell.

American viewers, Smackdown moves to SyFy next week. They sure remind you enough. It will actually be a live show, rare for Smackdown. That means next week they should pull out all the stops as the network debut and the go home show for the PPV. We’ll see if they blow it.

Over at TNA Rob Van Dam is back! The Pope is turning heel. Generation Me just do not have the look to be great heels no matter who they beat up. The Knockout Tag Team titles may be the most useless titles in a major wrestling company anywhere in the world. Lacey Von Erich has had plenty of chances. She’s not good. It’s nice to see Sabu can still do the things that made him famous but ladder matches need to focus on the competitors not a host of outside interferers. I’ve soured on Abyss for a while now. He doesn’t quite have the build to get by on it and his performance skills aren’t quite good enough either. He doesn’t cut it as a main eventer, even in TNA.

So Bound for Glory is already going to feature Lethal Lockdown with EV 2.0 vs. Fortune, the Triple Threat for the title and Rob Van Dam versus Abyss. Since bound for Glory is TNA’s version of Wrestlemania it’s not surprising they’re building a decent card. What is surprising is the shows are watchable lately. They aren’t perfect, or even outstanding but the show has positive momentum for a change. I’m not sure who is currently in charge, but they seem to have half a brain in their head. I’d rather watch TNA than NXT season 3.

Posted on September 27th, 2010 by Lucian | Leave a Comment
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I love the weekend. It gives me time to clear my head and get some writing done! A big thanks to all of our visitors, the site has been growing weekly and I hope that you enjoy our postings as much as we enjoy posting them. In terms of entertainment, I gotta say that I’ve been digging the new fall TV season. Some good new shows mixed in with some old favorites make for a good viewing.

  • Geocities may be long dead, but for those with fond memories of the goofy looking websites of the 90s, we now have The Geocities-izer! This genus website allows you to view what any website would look like if it was made in the 90s Geocities heyday. Sooo cool.
  • I love and miss Lost. I just saw the AWESOME new short film/coda on the sixth season DVD and Blu-ray, and thankfully we have other cool Lost related stuff to fill the missing gap, including this very cool fan art. It features all of our favorite characters drawn in an animated series style.
  • I was a bit swamped with work this week and missed New DVD Tuesday, but we really didn’t miss much. The only thing of note was Ridley Scott’s take on Robin Hood, which they should have just called “Gladiator 2”.  Did you pick up anything new? I’ve been getting used to watching older flicks I missed via Netflix Instant Queue.
  • My favorite Lois Lane, Teri Hatcher, is on her way to Smallville for a guest spot! In it she shall take of the role of Lois’ mom. I can’t wait to see her return to the world of Superman.
  • Randy Orton is the new WWE champion? When did that happen? A big thanks to our wrestling columnist Lucian who has been keeping track of all the going ons in WWE (and a bit of TNA info mixed in). Are you an old fan of wrestling that has been out of the mix for a while (like I have), than you should follow his wrestling recaps to see if WWE is worth checking out these days.

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