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WWE Fatal Four Way

By way of introduction I’m known as Lucian (not my real name) and I’m a professional wrestling fan from Toronto, Ontario. I watch all the wrestling I can on TV and sometimes order a Pay Per View. I’ve been a fan for years (since the day of the original Raw/Smackdown brand split to be precise) and play wrestling video games and write wrestling fan fiction for Hollywood the Game. I’m looking to be your regular wrestling columnist for My Hollywood Dream. On Saturday I attended the Ring of Honor internet Pay Per View and last night I watched World Wrestling Entertainment’s Fatal Fourway Pay Per View.

If you wonder why I like wrestling there are a number of reasons. I’m a big fan of long-term continuity. A few weeks ago Rampage Jackson was on Monday Night RAW promoting the new A-Team movie. To make a long story short Rowdy Roddy Piper showed up still nursing a grudge against Mr. T and the original A-Team. Where else but a soap opera or a comic book do characters show up nursing a grudge over two decades old? Unlike a comic book these are real people. They age, they retire, they learn, they come, they go but it’s one big storyline stretching back to the fifties. Unlike soap operas it has impressive displays of stage combat. As a former stage actor I was always a sucker for good stage combat. I also like larger than life characters, classic struggles between good and evil and some comedy mixed in now and then. Plus hot women (and men) means I expect to be a fan for a long time to come.

That does not mean I think the current state of American professional wrestling is particularly strong. WWE is struggling to adapt to its new PG rating while Vince Mcmahon’s wife Linda runs for public office. TNA tries to offer an alternative but they usually look second rate compared to WWE and seem to blow every opportunity that comes their way. Ring of Honor offers a true alternative but not on a major TV network and with their Pay Per Views on the internet. But wrestling can change on a dime. One new personality could change everything. There could be a next Rock or Stone Cold Steve Austin about to debut at any minute. You never know…

Which brings us to tonight’s show. Some interesting things have been going on in WWE programming lately and we’re going to see things come to a head tonight. The rookies from season one of new show NXT have invaded the company. The Undertaker was found beaten into a vegetative state (to cover a real life injury) and his brother Kane will stop at nothing to find the culprit. And, perhaps most important of all both the major championships will be defended in Fatal Fourway matches; where the champ has a statistical 75% chance to lose his championship. Add in a few minor matches and it should be a full card. But who knows, a last minute match could always be added.

Our opening promo highlights that we’re seeing two big Fatal Fourways tonight. For the uneducated a Fatal Fourway is a four-person match where everyone competes at the same time and the first person to score a pinfall or force a wrestler to submit wins the match. We’ll also see a women’s Fatal Fourway tonight but that’s not important enough to mention in opening credits. Also, the Smackdown half of the promo heavily features Kane, who is not even in the match, and his quest to find out who put his “brother” The Undertaker in a “vegetative state”.

We begin with an appearance by Mr. McMahon himself. He’s here to let us know Raw General Manager Bret Hart will not be here tonight. He even shows us the footage of the renegade faction of former NXT rookies attempting vehicular homicide on Hart. Recently Daniel Bryan was legit fired for choking someone out with a tie, but apparently using a car as a weapon is just fine for a PG rated show.

Before Vince leaves we bring out Vince’s pet project Drew McIntyre. They shake hands and when Drew reaches the ring he calls out Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long, who he has been abusing for weeks, to watch his title shot from ringside. We finally hear from the announce team as current Intercontinental champion Kofi Kingston arrives to defend his belt. It’s a 3-man announce team tonight of Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler and Matt “The Teacher” Striker.

This is a good choice for opening match. Drew McIntyre isn’t a great wrestler yet but Kofi’s flashy style keeps the match exciting throughout. McIntyre works typical heel style, inflicting early damage on Kofi’s left arm then focusing on it throughout. With so much focus on Teddy Long at ringside it’s no surprise when the ref goes down and McIntyre forces Teddy Long to take his place. But Teddy grows a pair and refuses to count Drew’s pin. But Drew’s other enemy, Matt Hardy, attacks him, despite being suspended. This lets Kofi make the comeback and this time Teddy is happy to count the pin.

A quick backstage segment tells us The Hart Dynasty have a 6-person tag against newcomers the Ousos and Tamita tonight. Neither Tyson Kidd nor David Hart Smith are any great shakes on the microphone yet.

The first Fatal Fourway of the night is the most minor, for the Divas championship. This being WWE it’s more about being hot than being a great wrestler. Gone at the days of the Fabulous Moohla. Our competitors are Maryse (hot French Canadian), Gail Kim (hot Korean Canadian), Alicia Fox (hot African American) and champion Eve Torres (hot Hispanic American). Of them all Alicia Fox is my least favorite and she picks up a win by stealing the pin from Eve, becoming the new Divas championship. It would have been a bad idea to have the champion retain but Fox is not someone I think deserves a title belt.

We get a face-to-face between Rey Mysterio and The Big Show, the good guys in the Smackdown Fatal Fourway, to make it clear they are not going to do each other any favors. Rey looks like a midget compared to Big Show. Show’s fist is almost as big as Rey’s head.

Another surprise match between Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne. Word is WWE Management put Chris Jericho in the doghouse after he signed to do the ABC TV game show Downfall (Tuesday at 9 on ABC) and John Cena recently went to bat for Evan Bourne. So it’s no surprise when the rising youngster picks up the win. But Jericho doesn’t dog it at all and the match is superb. If you need to punish Jericho then losing to a rising star is far smarter than having Big Show crush him as they did on RAW.

To find out the results of the rest of the WWE’s Fatal Fourway event, check out part 2 of Lucian’s Wrestling Report.

(A note from The Pit:) Today, we have a guest post from wrestling fanatic and friend of My Hollywood Dream, Lucian.  He is here to talk about Wrestlemania XXVI and make predictions about match outcomes…

wrestlemania

Batista [C] vs. John Cena
WWE Championship

This has had very good build up. Batista rightfully pointed out that he and Cena are the biggest stars to emerge since the Attitude era. The concern is that Cena may still be working through an injury. Of course, it’s Wrestlemania so you know he is going to give all he can. Will it be enough for a good match? Let’s hope so. Batista owns a pin over Cena already and faces (good guys) usually win the big matches at WM.

Prediction: Cena.

Chris Jericho [C] vs. Edge
World Heavyweight Championship

This is another match match where health is at question. Edge is /just/ back from an injury he rehabbed awfully quick. But they’ve been playing that up in the storyline, which probably means it isn’t true. If Edge is in great shape this could be a classic.

Prediction: The guy who wasn’t recently arrested: Edge.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Career vs. Streak
No Disqualifications, No Count Outs

By all rights this should be the main event. It’s certainly had the most buildup. Some say Shawn Michaels is really going to retire after this. Will he try to outperform the classic these two put on at last year’s Wrestlemania? Both these guys always pull out all the stops at the big show. Watch for Taker to do a leap over the top rope to the outside, walk the ropes and hit a wide variety of finishers. Watch for HBK to go for Sweet Chin Music like twenty times.

Prediction: Taker of course, let’s just hope the retirement is work not shoot.

Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon
No Holds Barred

Here we have a senior citizen taking on a stroke victim. Do not expect a wrestling clinic. but this is No Holds Barred which means organized chaos, weapons, maybe a run in or two and a shitload of closed-fisted punching. Both these men know they may never wrestle another match in their lives. Of course both are pretty brittle and a very real injury could happen. By all the gods, a few Royal Rumbles back Vince tore both quads just /entering the ring/! This could range from trainwreck to classic grudge match. We’ll have to see. It’s just a shame Earl Hebner works for TNA now. Having him ref the match and pull a screw job finish on Vince would be beyond epic.

Prediction: In wrestling they talk about “owing someone a job”, VKM owes the Hitman the mother of all jobs. No way Bret loses here.

Triple H vs. Sheamus

The buildup to this was abrupt as Sheamus missed some time with a legit concussion. Still they did a good job with the little time they had. Triple H informed Sheamus what a crushing blow it is to be crushed at your first Wrestlemania. After all, he got squashed by The Ultimate Warrior his first big show and his career went into a tailspin. HHH vowed it was his turn to do that to Sheamus. So, the outcome depends entirely on how much faith Paul Levesque has in Sheamus the performer.

Prediction: For reasons that escape me the PtB seem to have a lot of faith in Sheamus. Some heels have to win at WM and they tend to be guys on the rise. And while WM is generally the place to end feuds you have to start some new ones or the fans have no reason to tune in to RAW the next night. So I say Sheamus goes over here and HHH beats him at the next two PPVs to even the score.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio
If Mysterio Loses He Must Join the Straight Edge Society

Another rushed feud and I never like it when they involve Rey’s family. The shadows of the horrendous “Who is Dominic’s father?” with Eddie Guerrero still linger. It sucks the one time I saw Eddie live was in the middle of that feud. Anyway, if Rey loses he joins CM Punk’s stable.

Prediction: Again some heels have to win at WM, and Rey joining the straight edge society has long term story potential. So Punk adds another Wrestlemania win. Wait, has he ever lost at WM? Oh yeah 23 he lost MitB to Mr. Kennedy.

Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Triple Threat Match

9 months ago this would have been a hot match. Now it feels played out. Someone will emerge here as a face and whoever that is will win.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne vs. MVP vs. Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston
Money in the Bank
Ladder Match for a World Title Shot

10 men? Really? Really? That’s overdoing it. If your rosters are this overpadded cut a couple guys. I know you try to get everyone a payday at the big show but this is ridiculous. Cut back to six guys and do a 20-man dark match or something.

Big Show & The Miz [C] vs. John Morrison & R-Truth
Unified Tag Team Championship

Despite just being throw together, Morrison and Truth are working together as a well-oiled machine both in the ring and on promos. Truth is stepping up his weak mic work to try to keep up with Morrison and the two just look like stars.

Prediction: The face rule reasserts itself here and we have new champions and a feud that can go for months.

Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres vs. Vickie Guerrero, Maryse, Alicia Fox, Michelle McCool & Layla
10-Women, RAW & SD Tag Match

This is when you argue about what to get on the pizza, order food and enjoy the eye candy. Except Vickie Guererro will be in shot a lot so it will be like looking at a porn mag then a picture of your mother.

Prediction: Good gals.

WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2010
Stu Hart
Gorgeous George
“The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
Maurice “Mad Dog” Vachon
Wendi Richter
Antonio Inoki
Bob Uecker

As a Canadian I am required by law to worship Stu Hart. Gorgeous George is long overdue. DiBiase’s timing is good and makes me rethink who will win the legacy match. Mad Dog and Richter make good low level picks and Inoki is a foreign superstar. And if you are going to have a celebrity wing to the HoF Bob Uecker certainly belongs in it. Let’s just hope K-Fed never gets inducted.

Still, there’s no real superstar the fans truly know this time. Warrior turned them down. Even Honky Tonk Man turned them down. It’s too soon for The Rock. Sting is with the competition. Are there any really big stars out there still to induct? Sound off below.

Anyway, I’ll have guests over for the show. Should be a blast. Starts at 7 pm EST. Let’s hope it’s a great one!

Posted on March 28th, 2010 by Lucian | Leave a Comment
Filed Under Entertainment

The WWE is teaming up with THQ for a wrestling game that even I can get excited about (I stopped watching wrestling while it was still the WWF). “Legends of Wrestlemania” is coming to the Playstation 3 and X-Box 360, and lets players “relive, rewrite, and redefine the greatest moments in WWE history.”

Read on for more details and a teaser trailer for the game.

Read the rest of this entry »

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