What can I say about this one? I did not like the first one and yet, thanks to an old friend of mine, I’m now the not so proud owner of the following statement; “I saw The Expendables 2 in theaters.” What can I say about this film that you cannot already predict from the trailers that were released? Was the acting bad??? Yeah, you didn’t see that one come a mile away? Is the action good??? It’s actually underwhelming. Are the one liners are rapid fired?!? Of course they are!

(spoilers follow) The Expendables 2 follows the group as they are black mailed into doing a top secret mission for the mysterious Church (Bruce Willis) that sees them heading to Eastern Europe. However, before they can complete the mission, they are thrown for a whirlwind when one of the members of the team is brutally killed and their loot is stolen. Now, they’re on both a mission for Church and a mission of revenge as they find themselves becoming heroes in one of the most unlikely places. This is a film riddled with cliches and judging from the plot line I just provided, it shows you that there’s no ingenuity here. You’ve seen this plot a hundred times before and I know we’ll see a rehash of it down the line. For a men on a mission-vigilante-revenge tale it is not even executed all that well. The plot will get you shaking your head more then once and that’s just a big no-no in my book.

The film’s best actor is actually its youngest one in Liam Hemsworth and I cannot help but feel that he, like his brother Chris, is a future action star. The guy has great screen presence and easily held his own against all these action vets. Speaking of them, how in the hell did Jean Claude Van Damme become the most entertaining of them all?!? As Jean Vilian, he was brilliant as the film’s bad guy and I cannot help but think that he should be sticking to playing the villain and this might be his best turn since starring in JCVD. I will say that Chuck Norris’ entrance in the film was a hoot and his presence on the screen was appreciated after so many years off, but I absolutely hated that they butchered the classic “The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly” music to elevate his character. That really wasn’t cool.

The story of the film was really stupid though and in the end the novelty of the premise is wearing off. Not sure if I’ll be back for a third installment, but I know that these guys had enough fun to want to come back. And how can you blame them? They have nothing else going for them. Well, except for Arnie and Stallone. And maybe JCVD if he can build some momentum and stick to more comedic roles. Was this film a good bad film? Yes. Just wait for this one to hit a Redbox near you. Not worth the price of admission. Everybody in this film has done better. Everybody.

[rate 1.5]

I’m a huge fan of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series. The original was one of the films that defined horror to me as a kid and Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3 was one of those bad films that was so much fun that I could watch it over and over. Most of the other six films in the series were forgettable or more of the same, but you’ll find that with any horror series. Texas Chainsaw 3D is the seventh film in the series and it is really weird.

Even with the “3” in the title, this movie is not a sequel to the two modern rebooted movies in the series from the Platinum Dunes (the 2003 Jessica Biel starring The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and its 2006 prequel The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning). No, Texas Chainsaw 3D is a direct sequel to the 1974 original, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Ironically, this would mark the third direct sequel to the original film after 1986’s The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 from the original director Tobe Hooper and 2004’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation. So maybe the three in the title is deserved?

The poster is a nice homage to all of the Leatherface movies and it should be interesting to see how they try and connect the films. It has been revealed that archive footage from the original movie will be used in the new one that shows original actors Verna Carson and Gunnar Hansen. The plot is familiar; “A young woman travels to Texas, along with her friends, to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding maniac is part of the reward.” It doesn’t sound like this has to (or should be) a direct sequel to the original rather than just another Leatherface movie. What is with director’s obsession to make a direct sequel to the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Guys, just get your stuff together and do your own thing. Pay your respect to the original, but don’t try so hard to make the definite sequel. The time has passed, no one is looking for it. The horror flick is scheduled for release on January 4, 2013 from Lionsgate.

Now that we know that Marvel Studios will be moving forward with a SHIELD television series set in the movie universe we can start to speculate on characters that will be featured in the series. Who is better to start with than the villains?

Red Skull. This pick is likely the most obvious. He was the main villain in Captain America: The First Avenger and his fate was left a bit undetermined (no body means that anything is possible). With his connections to the terrorist organizations such as HYDRA and AIM, Joss Whedon and company would have a lot of possibilities for stories all around the world. The Red Skull could be guiding the other bad guys from the shadows while plotting to get the Cosmic Cube or another device that will help him take over the world and/or get revenge. After his reveal as the big bad, it could lead to an epic season finale that could feature SHIELD turning to Captain America for help (ratings gold!). Another great thing about the Red Skull is that if Marvel can’t get Hugo Weaving to reprise the role for television (or just want to save money) they can easily hire another actor and put him in the make up. Other possibilities are to use one of the Red Skulls that followed Johann Schmidt, such as Albert Malik, or they could even feature Sinthea Schmidt, the daughter and newest version of the Red Skull in the comics.

MODOK or the Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing could be SHIELD’s version of Doctor Who’s incredible race of villains, the Dalek. On first glance MODOK looks a bit goofy (rather, he IS a bit goofy) and would need a redesign to work better on TV. He has the right level of intelligence to keep SHIELD on the defense and he could keep things interesting by being a gate way to other villains, such as the Hulk villain Abomination and Black Lama. Just like the Red Skull, MODOK has connections to AIM and the Cosmic Cube.

Ultron. Okay, I know what you are thinking… Ultron is the ultimate Avengers villain, why in the world would you waste him on a SHIELD television series? As seen in the credits (spoiler alert, talking about the end of The Avengers, stop reading or you could be spoiled!) of The Avngers, Thanos was revealed as the big bad behind Loki’s grab for power on Earth and has likely set up him being the main villain for the sequel. That would mean we likely would not see Ultron until a third or forth movie which would bring us to 2019 at the earliest. What a waste of an awesome bad guy. Imagine a pre Ant-Man Henry Pym as a SHIELD scientist who develops Ultron as a weapon for SHIELD to use against the growing thread of supervilalins, but something goes wrong and he inadvertently creates their worst enemy. It could be a great way to introduce the future Avenger while giving SHIELD a villain that they created and need to hunt down and stop before he kills millions of people and starts a war.

What villains would you like to see featured in the possible SHIELD series from Joss Whedon and ABC?

Welcome to an all new edition of The Pit. I hope you like our new format. As always, feel free to send suggestions and news to us through our contact form.

We have some good news and bad news for you in regards to the upcoming Robocop reboot from director José Padilha of the Elite Squad series. The very talented Hugh Laurie has sadly left the project. He was set to portray the villainous CEO of OCP.

On the up side though is that the underused and just as talented Michael Keaton is stepping into the role. The former Batman just isn’t in nearly as many movies as he should be these days. He was last seen on the big screen in The Other Guys and a guest spot on the NBC comedy 30 Rock, both of which he stole the scenes he was in. Other recent cast additions to RoboCop include Jackie Earle Haley and Jay Baruchel.

It is official! The movie and television rights to Daredevil, “man without fear”, are heading back to Marvel Studios and their parent company Disney. This is especially good news with the announcement of a Joss Whedon led SHIELD television series [SEE: Marvel’s SHIELD to Save TV!].

What better way to distance Daredevil from the forgettable Mark Steven Johnson directed 2003 flick than to reintroduce him as his alter ego, the blind lawyer Matt Murdock, in a multiple episode arc that establishes him as part of the overall universe. Maybe he is defending a villain against SHIELD in court before he teams up with the agency to take out a bigger threat? Or agents recruit him for an assignment that only he can handle because of his unique senses?

Finally, someone somewhere has come to their senses and after its sixth season (that is six too many), MTV’s Jersey Shore is coming to an end. I’m sure the network will continue to find ways to make New Jersey and fake Italians look bad. They already have too many spinoffs, including Snooki & JWoww and The Pauly D Project (for the record, any amount of spinoffs from this trash is too many).

The sixth season begins on October 4th with a special marathon and retrospective/preview for the final season on September 6th before the MTV Video Music Awards. I would have preferred it if the series had been cancelled before the sixth season, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Yesterday we got some awesome news! ABC’s very physical obstacle course game show Wipeout has been renewed for another season of hijinks and just as important, Jill Wagner will be returning to co-host! She has been very much missed as she left before the current season and was replaced with Vanessa Lachey, who just doesn’t have Wagner’s comedic timing or likability.  Tonight we have a new episode at 8pm and it will likely be the extent of my TV viewing (I have two episodes of Homeland‘s first season to distract me along with the 6th season of Doctor Who… so who needs to waste time with reruns?).

Official Description, “Snakes on the Plains”: Obstacles include Snakes on the Plains and Pulling Teeth.

Also on tonight..

8PM

GOLF: On the Range (docu)
PBS: RNC Coverage (news)
HGTV: Property Brothers (docu)
SPEED: Car Warriors (docu)
NBC: The Office/Parks and Recreation (comedies) (repeats)
FOX: Raising Hope/New Girl (comedies) (repeats)
CBS: The Big Bang Theory (comedy) (repeat)

9PM

ABC: Rookie Blue (crime drama)
CBS: Big Brother (reality competition)
NBC: Saving Hope (drama)
CW: The Next (docu)
CNBC: Crime Inc. (news showcase)
DSC: Auction Kings (docu)
ID: Behind Mansion Walls (docu)

10PM

FX: Wilfred/Louie (comedies)
ABC/NBC/CBS/BET: RNC Coverage (news)
A&E: The First 48 (news showcase)
DSC: Saw Dogs (docu)
FOOD: Extreme Chef (competition)
MTV: Snooki & JWoww/Awkward (reality/comedy)
HGTV: (10:30) House Hunters International (docu)

Wow. We have come a long way since 1998’s Nick Fury: Agent of SHEILD that featured David Hasselhoff in the starring role and was written by Batman Begins writer David S. Goyer. While I do admit that Hasselhoff was the spitting image of Fury, the movie was a joke like most of the efforts to adapt Marvel characters (remember Captain America‘s helmet or Roger Corman’s take on Marvel’s first family, the Fantastic Four).

Now enter Marvel Studio’s shared movie universe, which will be expanding onto the small screen and could provide us with as many as 20 new hours a year of content. ABC and Marvel have announced that they are going into production on a SHIELD pilot to be written and (possibily) directed by Joss Whedon, who not only helmed the big screen Avengers but created cult television shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, and Firefly. Joining Whedon on the new Marvel series will be usual contributors Jed Whedon and Maurissa Tanchareon, who both wrote for Dr. Horrible and Dollhouse and helped shape both of those properties.

At this time it is unknown whether we’ll see familiar faces such as Sam Jackson’s Nick Fury or Cobie Smulders’ Agent Maria Hill, or any of the big guns like Ironman, Hulk, Thor, etc. Depending on the time period of the show, there is always the chance to see Clark Gregg as Agent Phil Coulson again. I think it is a given that we’ll see everyone from the Marvel universe in some capacity (even archive footage) at one point or another. The most exciting thing about the series is that they’ll be able to present so many more characters; including heroes, villains, and smaller supporting characters. What would bring in the ratings more than an episode that introduces Doctor Strange or Black Panther? Here is hoping that they will go all out- with Whedon directing the pilot and developing the series, they are taking all of the right steps. I can’t wait to hear more about SHIELD.

Tonight at 10pm over on Comedy Central is the season finale of Futurama‘s seventh season. I am still in disbelief that the show was not only renewed into a 7th season, but it will also be returning for an eight season! I haven’t been following ti regularly recently, but will catch up someday on DVD or reruns. I love the show, but its not one of the series that I feel the need to watch right when its on. Sorta like Scrubs, Cougar Town, or Happy endings.

Official Description, “31st Century Fox; Naturama”: Bender becomes a prey after saving a robotic fox from hunters; a nature documentary transforms the crew into their animal alter egos.

8PM

ABCFAM: Melissa & Joey/Baby Daddy (comedies)
CBS: Big Brother (reality competition)
FOX: So You Think You Can Dance (reality competition)
CW: Oh Sit! (game show)
ID: Dateline on ID (news showcase)
.
.

9PM

USA: Royal Pains (medical drama)
A&E: Storage Wars Texas (docu)
FOOD: Restaurant: Impossible (cooking)
HGTV: Buying and Selling (docu)
NGC: Abandoned (docu)
SYFY: Haunted Collector (docu)
VH1: Hollywood Exes (reality)

10PM

USA: Necessary Roughness (sports drama)
ABC/CBS/NBC: RNC Coverage (news)
A&E: American Hoggers (reality)
MTV: The Real World: St. Thomas (reality)
E: The Soup (clips comedy)
HGTV: House Hunters/House Hunters International (reality)
TVLAND: The Soul Man/The Exes (comedies)

Remember, if you miss anything live, you can watch a lot of Free TV Online. What will you be watching tonight?